As a matter of fact, I *am* extremely pleased with myself

Reader Michael Liccione writes:

I have a dream. In a ballroom-style hotel room, I gather 50 smart, pious people who each profess: “One doesn’t need a divinely authorized church to tell us all what God wants us to believe. All you need is the Bible and the Holy Spirit.” Then I seat them round ten tables and listen to their discussions of theology. Before long, some will say to others things like: “Your Christology is demonstrably false.” “You can’t be serious. We’re supposed to worship on Sundays, not Saturdays.” “If you ever lose your faith, you never had it.” In due course somebody will say: “You know, none of us are infallible. Let’s just all be tolerant.” At that point, I say to them all: “Q.E.D.” Finally, seeing them rush as one toward me, I wake up.

And John Farrell adds:

 … as they rush on you, you realize they were zombies all along. 😉

May I suggest a title?: 28 Prays Later

I now return to my work filled with the inner glow that can be conferred only by the heady mix of smug self-satisfaction and the knowledge that I have sparked groans of anguish from a thousand mouths beneath two thousand rolling eyes.

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  • RFlaum

    I’m reminded here of a line from Harry Turtledove:

    Q: What do you get when you lock three members of [religious group] in a room together?
    A: Six heresies — each one’s view of the other two.

  • Cinlef

    The film Luther , which as a product of a Lutheran Church is hardly pro-Catholic in it’s bias contains a scene in Luther is debating a Cardinal who warns of precisely this phenomenon as the obvious danger of sola scripture. Luther dismisses it and the movie largely attempts to portray that as a weak excuse from a corrupt clergy bent on maintaining its power……though this portrayal is strongly undermined by the fact that the Cardinal’s prediction is 100% accurate in every way

    • Doug

      The Christians found in the Bible had these problems themselves, in a day when they all spoke the same language and all could read the LXX and/or the Hebrew of the day. Prime example is Acts 15; it wasn’t language that kept them apart over circumcision. But chairman James, after citing scripture, after all had heard each other out, said, “For it has seemed good to the Holy Ghost and to us to lay no further burden upon you than these necessary things …” And this was a serious controversy, with good points on both sides.
      Other examples are at Acts 1:6 and 1 Cor 12. As Luther- fluent in the necessary languages- knew quite well, the Church of his day was far removed from the religion of the Apostles. So today: compare the pomp and circumstances of Canterbury or Pope or Billy Graham with, “… but the Son of Man hath nowhere to lay his head.” And there are more serious differences.

      • Doug

        Sorry for the typo. S/b only “to the Holy Ghost and to us” in italics.

  • Chris M

    One: a nice summation of a lot of what Mike’s work on various Catholic blogs boils down to (esp. the CTC stuff and his own blog)!

    Two: HA!!! Reason #378492 why I love this blog.