…because she was already a mortal sinner who had worked in the abortion industry for 17 years and was therefore irredeemably committed to evil. As such, she was The Enemy in the War on Abortion and so deserved to be tempted to commit another abortion, since her hard, profit-driven heart was already bent on it anyway:
I looked in the paper and saw a doctor’s office in need of a bilingual receptionist, someone who could schedule appointments for patients – it was perfect for me. I didn’t realize it was an abortion clinic.
I was a Christian but abortion was not at the top of my list of concerns. I thought it was not a great option but really depended upon the woman’s situation. In my desperation, I put my beliefs aside, only worrying about putting food on the table for my three children and one on the way.
As happens with a lot of abortion clinic employees who are hired to do one thing but are recruited into another, my scheduling position evolved into doing work in the lab. “Lab” is where we sorted through the parts of the aborted child to make sure they were all accounted for and nothing was left inside the patient.
I also did counseling and somehow stomached the excuses women had to abort – for many it was because the baby was a girl and they wanted a boy while others it was because of a fetal defect and others because they didn’t want another child.
I tried to soothe my soul by comforting these women during their abortions.
My conscience bothered me at times and I would secretly try to change the patient’s mind during counseling.
One woman came in who was pregnant with twins and already had another child. I just couldn’t counsel her to choose abortion and told her that there are other options. She chose to keep the twins and saw me a couple years later and told me how grateful she was for my advice and that her children were her joy.
As time went by I learned every position in the clinic and the doctor trusted me. However, he was always in a bad mood and rude to patients and employees. He referred to the larger women as cows or whales. I hated how he treated everyone and left but went back because I needed the money.
Although one might say I was used to this type of work, my heart now felt heavier as I watched woman after woman have an abortion.
Looking back, I believe God was working through my conscience, trying to get my attention and wake me up to the horror of what I was doing.
I tried to soothe my soul by comforting these women during their abortions or helping them with rides to the airport or bus and even had a few stay at my home because they had no extra money for hotels.
But I saw more things that made me question why I was working there. I saw the doctor increasing prices for no reason, making pregnancies look larger on the ultra sound to charge more. I saw him charge women for being overweight, on medication by a primary doctor, for having had previous C-sections, for having a tilted uterus, and many other reasons he just made up.
But even worse than lying to the women or dealing with a cranky boss was what I saw during the abortions. I was the doctor’s right hand person in the operating room and just like those employees of Dr. Gosnell, I saw the abortionist puncture the soft spot in the baby’s head or snip its neck if it was delivered alive.
What in the world was I doing there? Where was the teenager who used to take a Bible everywhere she went?
As many readers have instructed me, all the old traditional and boring strategies for fighting the prolife struggle are Nowheresville and have achieved nothing. Things have reached a desperate pass and we can no longer be satisfied with the dull, pedestrian “fast, pray, educate, speak the truth, persuade, lobby, love, and have patience”.
No. we face a desperate need to cut moral corners right this very second for the sake of the Greater Good (Because in War You Fight to Win Dammit! Not to Make Nice with The Enemy). And so, as I have been repeatedl instructed, people like the author of this piece have clearly forfeited the right to the Truth and you can lie to them with abandon. Indeed, I am reliably informed that when you have concluded that somebody has no right to the truth, whatever you say to them, no matter how obviously false and intended to deceive, is not a lie at all. Things we normally call “lies” magically become “not lies” when the person you are lying to is somebody you have unilaterally decreed to be “not entitled to the truth”. (You may ask yourself whether, under such a definition, anyone has ever told a lie in the history of the world since pretty much every lie is told by somebody who has decided that the victim of the lie has no right to the truth, but work with me here and just accept it).
And if your lie that is magically not a lie consists of “I’m confused and desperate and I want to kill my baby. Will you please help me?” well just take a look at that person you are lying to: she’s already been damned for 17 years, hasn’t she? So it’s not your problem if your plea for help tempts her to overcome her troubled conscience and persuade herself that she is “comforting you” by assenting to help you abort. It’s all on her if she acquiesces to your plea to help you murder your child. You have no culpability and have not just tied a millstone around your neck. You are acting flawlessly and anybody who questions that is probably the sort of fool who would hand Jews over to Nazis. Besides, think of the footage you are getting as that clinic worker finally muscles down her troubled conscience because she feels sorry for you. That’s Youtube gold right there! If she goes home, takes some Xanax to help her forget what she did and carry on with her career after dallying with leaving the clinic because of your persuasive words at just this moment of crisis in her life, that’s her problem, not yours.
Yet sadly, despite these obvious moral calculations that any true prolife Catholic can see, nobody went in with a hidden camera, lied to this clinic worker, and attempted to enlist her to further sear her restless conscience with a plea for her to cooperate in yet another abortion. Instead, the sort of people my readers inform me are “prissy, moralistic, do-nothing cowards” and “bubble-brained Ivory Tower idealists” who pay lip service to the prolife movement while “refusing to get their hands dirty” wasted time loving this hard-hearted butcher of nearly two decades and, through the work of And Then There Were None, helped her transition out of this monstrous industry, recommit her life to Jesus Christ and become 100% prolife.
Because of this, a golden opportunity to expose yet another disgusting career murderer by any means necessary was lost forever. Hopefully, next time we prolifers will do the right thing and take no pity on a monster like this but instead do all in our power to persuade such people to overcome their troubled conscience and agree to another murder so that we can film it. The gospel is, after all, about using people to score huge political points. It’s about nailing sinners, not about saving them. Thus instructed by so many of my readers, I think we can all agree is that the real tragedy here is that this one got away.
I learn a lot from my comboxes, mail, and Facebook.