So yesterday I get an email from some total stranger titled “you”.
Upon opening it, it reads:
What a moron.
Happy Trails and Pax Vobiscum
This was rather cryptic, but since sundry people have been upset with my obvious moral obtuseness in thinking that Christians should not be trying to get people to agree to commit murder, and since the author signed in Latin in that “God bless you and the horse you rode in on” way that some conservative Catholics have, I ventured a guess that this cryptic note was in response to that contretemps and replied accordingly, giving the Church’s teaching on the sin of scandal and so forth. I also noted a certain dissonance between the whole “Pax vobiscum” thing and the “What a moron” thing.
Turns out I could not have been more wrong. My interlocutor wrote back, apparently miffed because I made fun of Katharine Jefforts-Schori and the Progressives who were deploying the “Catholics breed like roaches” language of Der Sturmer:
I think you’re a moron because you’ve sacrificed your intellect for religious mythology. I think you’re a moron because you have virtually cut-off, or at least severely limited your spiritual enlightenment by excluding all other paths to God but your own as being equally valid. Spirituality comes from within, religion comes form without. I think your a moron for subscribing to a specific religious mythology, Roman Catholicism, that has forfeited any and all rights to “pontificate” on morality and family values. I believe you’re a moron subscribing to a religious mythology that is so cemented in paternalism it will not or maybe even cannot treat the women of the worlds as equals to men in all but physical characteristics. I think you’re a moron because you subscribe to a religious mythology where the all male hierarchy parades around in flowing brocaded silk gowns with sashes and, until recently, wearing red Prada shoes surrounded by millions of dollars in antiques yet opposes equal rights for gays.
Thanks for asking and I would probably come up with a few more reasons for thinking you’re a moron but I have a life in the real world. And again, I say pax vobiscum, and I mean it, really, I do. I’m sorry but the RCC doesn’t have a lock on Latin, especially a phrase as innocuous as peace be with you.
Ah! Okay. So its your Inner Light of Love that impels you to call strangers morons, then? Good to know. And very persuasive. I can actually feel your enlightened superiority with each blow of your fist. Why did I not see it before?
Somehow notes like this remind me of an old joke:
Q: What goes clop, clop, clop, clop, BANG!, clop, clop, clop?
A: An Amish drive-by shooting.