Clerihew contest!

What’s a clerihew? A short comic or nonsensical verse, typically in two rhyming couplets with lines of unequal length and referring to a famous person.

Here’s my kickoff:

Pity poor Adolf Hitler.
When he does the Internet bit where
he has to compare his opponent to the WORST THING EVAR!!!111!!
All he has is the mirrar.

Knock yourselves out in the comboxes.

  • RP

    If Goedel were alive
    Would 2+2=5?
    If so the axiomatical
    Would not be pragmatical.

  • Guest

    Cardinal Bergoglio
    Freed popes from an age-old imbroglio
    By shouting “This Francis
    “Is Christ’s, not the Curia’s or France’s”

  • Daniel Collins

    I read that Mark Shea
    Hates anyone who’s gay.
    I’m also told he loves them too.
    Though I haven’t actually read his blog. Have you?

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    The new Pa Frank, ex-Benedict,
    is said, by some, to conterdict
    what came before. And thus they hope
    in vain to find their bias in the Pope.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    That wondrous rascal, Father Zed,
    shouts “Say the black, and do the red.”
    But this saw is severely tested
    When for the O.F. he is vested.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Arinze says, nay do not dance,
    but pray instead, if half the chance.
    So glad at what he had to say,
    I could not stop my feet; my hips began to sway.

  • Michael Lindner

    When Mary gave her “yes” to God
    did she realize how hard
    it would be to stand at foot of the cross
    and suffer the grief of her loss?

  • Michael Lindner

    Michael Voris is militant
    and although he has no ill intent,tolerant folk cannot abide him
    “you are a hater” they chide him.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Poor man, Jeffrey Tucker,
    philosophical sucker.
    Having bought into Church improvement,
    bought also New-Lit Movement.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Michael Voris
    preaches to the chorus.
    I think he rather likes the fight,
    as much as he likes being right.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Cardinal Burke
    is perfect for his work:
    Ambassadors of God above
    should look their best in cape and glove.

    • http://catholiclight.stblogs.org/ Richard C.

      He’s prefect too.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Adam Wood
    does not what he should.
    Though he’s got lots of work to do,
    He’s writing this, a clarihew.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Saint Thomas Aquino
    thought “Heck, what do we know?”
    Then wrote down exactly how
    to know the things we all know now.

    • am

      “I know”

      • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

        i don’t think so.
        “Aquinas” rhymes with “wine as” (as in, I almost like this WINE AS much as I like Diet Coke and Rum).
        But “Aquino” rhymes with “casino” (as in, if we were at a CASINO, I’d bet I’m right.)

  • http://catholiclight.stblogs.org/ Richard C.

    Mark Shea’s beard serves as a bib
    from his modest nose to his seventh rib
    and keeps him snug at night
    after mutual admiration with John C. Wright.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Oh Nancy Pelosi
    is a Catholic, and so she
    believes what the Church has to say.
    That is, she agrees- in her own way.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Mark Shea, the good blogger,
    he dodges, like Frogger,
    attacks from Right and Left.
    Such nimbleness for so much heft.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Marc Barnes says he is bad
    but I have never had
    someone explain to me so good
    what I shouldn’t think, and should.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Donald Trump
    is an overdressed frump.
    You’d think he could afford to wear
    a nicer caterpillar’s hair.

    • chezami

      Addictive, ain’t it?

      • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

        yes….

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Chesterton, Gilbert K.
    had lots of funny things to say.
    The humor not included in his books
    took out its frustration on his looks.

    • PeonyMoss

      I wish I could upvote this a dozen times

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Monsignor Andrew Wadsworth
    Is a man of impressive mind, and girth.
    When his over-worked tailor called and fuss’d
    He replied, “The measurement- It is Right, adjust.”

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Teresa, called “Mother,”
    (as opposed to the other)
    never wavered in service while dry.
    She’s a holier woman than I.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Dante
    One day
    I will finish reading your song.
    I mean, goodness- it isn’t even that long.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    Alexander Pope
    was full of hope
    that he could translate Greek
    which he didn’t speak.

  • DanSheehan56

    Of all the bloggers, very few
    Would open the combox to clerihew;
    Shea has done it, and given a good dose
    Of cheer to adherents of Patheos.

  • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

    No One
    Has done
    Clarihew on me.
    I am a Sadducee.

  • DanSheehan56

    Adam Wood
    Is very good
    At clerihew.
    Will that do?

    • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

      HURRAH!

      • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

        Sheehan, Dan.
        A righteous man.
        Are there really fifty-five
        other Dan Sheehans alive?

        • DanSheehan56

          Fifty-five?
          Manalive.

          There’s at least that many
          In just Kerry and Kilkenny.

          But this one lives in Pennsylvania,
          and indulges in clerihew contest mania
          Even though he should be writing
          And risks from his editors a mighty smiting

          • http://socialbootstrap.com Adam Wood

            I attempted connection on FB
            To find you took only a look-see
            dot 399?
            I found your timeline
            But your masthead is friend-button free.

            • DanSheehan56

              Facebook is a great pain.
              I tweaked my settings again.
              Now a button appears
              Among all the gears
              For new friends – you’ll see it quite plain.

  • Dr. Eric

    Because I heard the song on the radio yesterday:

    Warren Beatty
    Was kinda like Carly Simon’s mate-y.
    To Nova Scotia he flew in a plane,
    That’s why he’s so vain.

  • Dr. Eric

    Hootie and the Blowfish
    Could only wish
    To do Dylan like “Tangled up in Blue”
    ‘Cuz they only wanna be with you!

  • Dr. Eric

    Mark Shea
    Gay
    Is what appears on autocorrect
    when on Google to his blog I’m trying to connect.

    • Dr. Eric

      That needs revision:

      “Mark Shea
      Gay”
      Is what appears on autocorrect
      When on Google to his blog I’m trying to connect.

  • Kathleen M. Ritter

    I’ve heard Simcha Fisher
    is quite the dish. Her
    critics are in rants,
    though, because she wears. . . PANTS!

  • Kathleen M. Ritter

    Francis
    Is
    The toppa
    Papa.

  • JasperBuck

    Nancy Pelosi
    Catholic in good standing
    “Abortion’s sacred (mostly)”
    No bishop reprimanding?

  • KyPerson

    Donald Trump
    Is such a chump
    You’d think a man with money to spare
    Would buy himself some decent hair


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