Disloyal American Blogger Posts Political Humor

My Peace Plan:

My current plan for peace involves Rand Paul quietly introducing a resolution to strap Congress to Tomahawks and fire them into Antarctica. He can do it while McCain is distracted playing online poker.

Why pursue this wise and innovative course of action?

For the obvious reason that the resulting explosions will only kill America’s enemies and no innocents will be harmed–a true rarity in war. Obama can then be sent to Antarctica to do environmental cleanup (something our Ruling Class never does after it launches a war) and, when finished, he can be left there as a nutritional supplement for the struggling polar bear population.

Stopping our launch of a futile and stupid war *and * helping endangered species. It’s Win Wn and a return to the American tradition of Can Do Innovation! I see no down side to my plan.

Come and get me, NSA!

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  • Fabio Paolo Barbieri

    Problem – there are no bears in Antarctica.

    • ivan_the_mad

      But there are penguins. I move that Mark substitute penguins for polar bears rather than edit his proposal to target the Arctic.

      • Evan

        But the bears could use the nutrition more than the penguins could.

      • chezami

        If we aim far enough inland, we avoid hitting penguin habitats. My plan is flawless.

        • Fabio Paolo Barbieri

          Actually there are things – called Sea Leopards, but they are a very nasty kind of seal – who eat penguins, and humans too. You might consider one of those. Only problem is, they aren’t in any danger of extinction that I know of. http://inverarity.livejournal.com/86003.html

          • Then, there’s the Sea Cougars…. but they’re only interested in young penguins

    • chezami

      You see how endangered they are? It just makes the crisis (and my brilliant solution) all the more urgent. We need rash action RIGHT NOW!

  • Sean P. Dailey

    Leopard seals need food too. What will they eat when they can’t get penguin?

    • Martial Artist

      Well,I have noticed no one who has suggested that Mr. Obama be excluded from taking part in the attack.

  • Paul H

    I see only two tiny problems with your plan: (1) You didn’t mention that Rand Paul himself needs to be exempt from this “strapping to Tomahawks” plan, and (2) polar bears live near the North Pole, not in Antarctica.


    • Martial Artist

      A third unaddressed problem exists with Mark’s plan: If “McCain is distracted playing online poker,” he can be among the first to be strapped to his own Tomahawk missile. This is problematic because it leaves him free to interfere with strapping the rest of his colleagues to their own personal missiles. McCain needs to be the first, and the best way might be to appeal to his hypertrophied ego by presenting it to him as a great honor giving him a leading role in solving the Syria problem.
      Pax et bonum,
      Keith Töpfer

      • Does a tomahawk missile have sufficient spare computing power to run a computer poker game?

        • Martial Artist

          An interesting question, but irrelevant. By the time McCain learns the answer it will be too late to matter to him.

          • Lighten up, humor is always relevant.

  • PeonyMoss

    But if we feed the bears, won’t they become dependent on us? Or is that what annual elections are for?

  • “We have to bomb the penguins to save them!”

  • sbark

    The main problem with the proposal is timing. By the time they complete the environmental impact studies of moving polar bears to Antarctica and settle all the lawsuits, Obama will be out of office and escape the plan.

  • Faithr

    I don’t know. Obama is pretty skinny. I don’t think he’d make much of a supplement. I say we send Joe Biden along, just make sure there’s enough nutrition to go around to feed these bears or penguins or sea leopards

  • Ronald Reiman

    There are no polar bear in antarctica, only penguins.