As a Professional Catholic, women sense my power

…and constantly message me on Facebook. I must say, women seem to be incredibly unimaginative for the most part since the messages they send me are almost word for word the same: they’ve examined my profile, find me intriguing (no argument there of course) and long for a relationship with me, which will begin the instant I email them at an address that appears to be in Belarus, Nigeria, or Kazakhstan. Sometimes I wonder if there might not be something amiss with these FB messages, as though, oh I don’t know, maybe these women are not telling me the entire truth. But of course I then realize that even the most beautiful women (and the accompanying picture always proves the woman is stunning) are understandably intimidated by my status as an incredibly wealthy and powerful Professional Catholic. I *think* that’s explanation, but have had lingering doubts nonetheless.

Till yesterday, when I got this:

Hello how are you?
I’m Precious Ruba, a girl, and I will like to have a friendship with you, here is my email(XXXXX@ just contact me direct to my email not here in face book i have some thing to share with you also you will know more about me thanks, Miss Precious.

Read it and weep, doubter. Precious Ruba *is* a girl. She says so herself!

As is my custom, I will generously write and explain that while I can certainly understand why she would fling herself at me–a Professional Catholic–I am already spoken for and happily married. But I must say I appreciate that clarifying remark.

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  • Hmm… Widely traveled, has a secret island redoubt, women fling themselves at him… Is Mark Shea really James Bond?

  • Thomas Boynton Tucker

    I am shocked to discover that these women have been cheating on me!

  • meunke

    “share with you also you will know more about me thanks, Miss Precious.”

    PRECIOUS! She cheats on us!

  • Stu

    Ruuuuubaaaaaah….Don’t take your love to town…

  • Gary Keith Chesterton

    …and they seek the life essence.

    • chezami

      With the help of God and with the aid of our fluids, we will prevail.

  • Nick Corrado

    Shoulda been sextuple x dot com.