I’M NOT SORRY!

I’ll just leave this right here:

I once worked evenings in a museum with a Norwegian guy who was filling in for the usual security guard. The guy was supposed to be guarding a display of holy relics, but he was always leaving his post to get fast food. Finally I had to tell the guy that if he got hungry, he was going to have to order out. So one time this pizza guy shows up and I tell him where the relic display is. Well, it turns out that the security guard left his post to use the bathroom, so the the pizza guy found the relics unguarded. This generally wouldn’t have been a problem, but the pizza guy was a reformed relic thief. He ended up taking the relics and leaving the pizza in their place. When the security guy saw what had happened, he panicked and ran away. My boss, on his nightly rounds, discovered that the relics had been replaced with pizza and he yelled for me to come to the display immediately. “Are you responsible for this?” he demanded. I looked at the pizza in the display case and shook my head. “No,” I said, “that’s the order of the night temp, Lars.”