Blessed with Work

Work is a blessing to me right now. Being employed outside the home forces me to put my housework aside temporarily. It requires me to interact with others, gives me a new outlet for my anxious energy and creativity. Working gets me dressed, fed and out of the house. It is good. I’m working mostly on the computer, with Saturdays in the warehouse where I fold colorful fabric or patterns. I come home tired and happy. I only work when Ben is at home with the kids or when the kids are at school. Working outside the home, at least right now, is making me a better mom and everyone is benefitting. Of course, we have some kinks to work out — like dinners on the nights when I’m too tired to make anything. But overall, I think we are all benefitting. I felt guilty once, so far. Liam didn’t want to go to school. I carried him into his classroom, explained what was going on to his teacher. Kissed him, promising popcorn and chocolate milk that evening and left. I fought back the tears as I drove to work. My baby. I’m his mama. Shouldn’t I be there for him? Abruptly, the lies I was feeling were illuminated. No, I told myself. I will not feel guilty for this. Liam is getting an amazing education. He is with people who love him and care for him. He will be alright. I wrestled with my heart during my shift. But what if he is there crying, I thought to myself. I’d be such a terrible mama. I reassured myself that they would call if they couldn’t calm him down at the school. At 3, I logged out at work and drove back to pick up the kids from school. All 4 of them greeted me cheerfully — yes, even Liam Daniel. He wrapped his little arms around my neck in embrace and said, “I had the best day ever!!!”

I know for some that home-makers working outside the home can be a bad thing, but it doesn’t have to be. Not for everyone. I know a lot of it has to do with circumstances, but for us, this is working. It is a blessing.