Retreating

I’m almost packed for the annual Ballou Channing District Unitarian Universalist Minister’s retreat. It starts just ahead of lunch today and runs through lunch on Wednesday. We’ll be gathering at an RC retreat facility in Wareham.

Interestingly I’ve been at this facility for a Zen retreat a couple of years ago. (Not a good experience, actually. The priests understood Zen and were even enthusiastic about our coming. The staff thought we were a cult and were singularly unhelpful, to the point of playing loud music during meditation despite several requests they stop…) My memory is a fairly cushy place, and in this context should be enjoyable…

Which brings a couple of things to mind.

If someone says “retreat,” and you think you care, you need to clarify a bit what they mean when they’re using the word. Or, with someone like me who lives in a couple of worlds, what I mean in that specific context.

So, if I say I’m going on a Zen retreat, to wish me a restful time is a non sequitur… A Zen retreat involves all sorts of intensive time on the pillow relentlessly watching the mind and heart. And let me tell you, if you’ve not done such, that ain’t a restful enterprise.

Important. Life and death stuff, actually. But restful, no…

Then there are the retreats sometimes associated with continuing education units. Often, although of course not always, a bit of a racket. These may indeed involve sitting on the beach with yr favorite murder mystery fr most of the scheduled time. I’ve only heard of these, with some jealousy, admittedly…

And then there’s this one. I go to clergy retreats for a couple of reasons. The main one is to support the colleagues. I consider it part of the deal, the implicit covenant between us to support one another. And these days as the incumbent of one of the larger congregations in our district I’m very much aware of how clergy in larger congregations too often beg off from these events, claiming they’re too busy. As if the folk in the smaller churches aren’t… So double reason to do so.

They offer programing at these things. Which I generally do not find useful, but I guess they think justifies doing the thing. I have about a fifty percent participation rate at regularly scheduled programing. Too often the presenter knows too little about a subject that no one really needs to know anything about. They’re even worse, often, if they really are expert in the field. I prefer in general to hang out with the other noncompliants and drink coffee (metaphorically speaking. Usually the coffee at these places is undrinkable. In fact the hardest part of the deal for me is finding an acceptable cup of coffee somewhere. A standard google search reveals no homegrown coffee shops in Wareham, which would be my preference, and the nearest Starbucks is seven miles away. Not too far early in the morning when the drug relentlessly whispers in one’s ear…), or walk the grounds of what are usually interesting places.

But I figure the showing up thing for the retreat thing is the important thing.

My favorite part of these clergy retreats is that hanging out with the colleagues, schmoozing, gossiping, and complaining.

I am a major devotee of the art of complaining. And while there are the occasional novices who think one who is complaining is asking for advice, they can quickly be disabused of it, and then the pure joy of the complaint can be fully expressed and heard by people who deeply understand the whole thing…

Lovely.

And I am bringing a novel. Thank you for asking…

These retreats do have a relaxation, renewing aspect, which I do not disdain.

And I can use a little space right about now, so I’m grateful…