Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim
Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah
Originally this post was going to be a vehement screed against improper behavior in the masjid. Well, not just “the masjid” in general, but in the masjid my family goes to. My husband has been spending the odd nights of the last ten days of Ramadan in itikaaf, and last night was the 27th. He came home directly after fajr, frustrated and definitely not in the spiritual, contemplative mood of someone who had spent the night in ‘ibaadah seeking Lailat al Qadr. The tale he told had me shaking my head in disgust, and I was all set to run to the computer and put it all down for posterity. Full of righteous indignation, my intention was nonetheless stymied by the approach of Hurricane Irene and the necessity of battening down the hatches, making sure the kids had snacks, and taking a nap – rough day, I tell you.
So, now it’s about 8:30 in the evening. We’ve broken our fast, had a nice dinner, watched the wind and the rain, and cleared the table. I have some down time, so I decided to write. But what to write?
Well, I’m not going to glorify the goings on in the masjid by enumerating them; suffice it to say that there were more signs of Yaum al Qiyaamah than Lailat al Qadr. It’s sad when a man who wants to much to attach his heart to the masjid has to run from it in order to avoid fitnah. SubhanAllah. I guess that’s all I’ll say… subhanAllah.
The reason I decided to uncharacteristically shut my mouth is that I’d rather concentrate on the good and beautiful things going on in my life. My one year old, Zaid, has learned how to give sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. Mervat knows the first part of her ABC song. Yasin is reading already before starting kindergarten. Yusef is reading chapter books and told me he wished he could marry me. Abdel Hamid is loving his school. Sherif is spending time with us and sharing what he’s learned at his halaqah. I made some new Facebook friends and found an old “real world” friend whose life has changed in ways I can’t imagine, but who is just as precious to me because in the important things she hasn’t changed a bit. The storm is raging outside but the lights are still on and there’s soda in the fridge and cake on the counter. Oh, and mango frozen yogurt in the freezer.
I could go on and on about fitnah and unIslamic stuff and blah-de-blah-de-blah. Perhaps another time I will write about the issues, not just here locally but in the Ummah as a whole. Y’all know me by now – I’m not shy about speaking my mind. But now, in the last ten days of Ramadan, I am not going to let these negative people have space inside my head. It is an unnecessary distraction and will only serve to make me angry and sad, and I’m not-going-to-let-that-happen. Nope, no way.
I have prayers to pray and surahs to read and kids to kiss goodnight and a baby to tickle. I have kittens to pet and a husband to talk to and dishes that need to be washed, that cake that needs to be eaten, weather reports to watch. I’m much too busy to deal with the fitnah-fest right now, and I’m so blessed that I can calm down my husband and provide him a safe refuge from all the stuff he sees in and out of the masjid. I’m going to say goodnight to you all now and go chill out with my family, and reserve the snarky Nancy for another time. Because I know so many of you are enjoying your blessings and boosting your imaan and helping others and I don’t want to be Buzzkill Betty in the face of all that. So salaam alaikum, I love you for the sake of Allah, and don’t worry – the snarky me will be back at a later date.