Muslimah in Progress
As Salaamu Alaikum and howdy everyone.
Today we are getting a breather between “I can’t feel my face” cold spells. It’s supposed to get up to almost forty degrees today. Wooo! Yesterday it was like, one degree. The respite will be brief. We are going to be under a winter storm warning overnight with the potential for more face-freezing temperatures and snow. Or should I write that as “s*&w”, since that word is like a cuss word now. I think as soon as I get home from work I’ll make a big bowl of oatmeal for the chickens and make sure I gather all the eggs before they freeze and burst.
I wrote on my Facebook yesterday that I wanted people to let me know what I should write about, and boy did you all respond! Basically, you want me to write everything about everything. Thanks for helping me narrow it down! I will do my best to write about what you care about. And of course what I care about. If you want me to write about kale or bedazzling your hijab, I’m afraid you are out of luck.
So, let us begin….
First of all, this is a Muslim blog about Muslim stuff, and if you are not Muslim, there may be things that you can’t relate to. That’s fine. The fact that you are reading this is great, because it means you are open-minded enough to at least part the curtain and peer inside the world of Islam. I think you’ll be very surprised when you see a lot of stuff you recognize – you know, like Jesus (peace be upon him), peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, stock car racing, pickled herring, and kids who write on the wall with Sriracha sauce. I hope you will learn that we Muslims are not some exotic “other” but part and parcel of this world. And if you have any questions, ask.
I have a lot of women ask me to talk about how to be a practicing Muslim when living in a non-Muslim society. Many Muslims who were born here in the US or who reverted to Islam here have never lived in a “Muslim” country. Hmmm, she put air quotes around the word “Muslim”? What does that mean? I will let you in on a secret. It is often just as hard to live as a practicing Muslim in a so-called Muslim country as it is in the United States. Often harder. Governments over there are often tyrannical and only play lip service to Islam; many people live according to the culture that is predominant in their land, and the actual practice of correct Islam is rare.
You actually have a lot of freedoms granted to you here in the US. You can sue for discrimination if someone tells you they won’t hire you because you are Muslim, or they won’t rent to you, that sort of thing. Easier said than done, of course, but we have a structure that exists in the US that makes it possible to pursue your rights. Try that in some other countries and you’ll end up in jail. And by the way, saying nice stuff about the United States does not make me a “kaafir” (unbeliever) and it does not mean I am a blind rah-rah patriot. Trust me, I’ll get to the bad stuff sometime. But I will not get on the Death to America bandwagon. This is a country of over three hundred million people and there are a lot of good ones here. Just not many inside the Beltway, but that’s another story.
You live as a Muslim in the US by saying no when your buddies at work want to go out for a beer. You say “Thanks, but I don’t drink, so I’m going to go home and curl up on the sofa with some tea and Netflix.” Notice, I did not say you tell them “I don’t drink, you dirty infidel, and you are going to hell with every sip of that evil brew you quaff.” It’s all in the approach. There are a lot of non-Muslims who do not drink as well. If someone gives you a hard time about it, it’s their problem, not yours.
You live as a Muslim by ordering the fish when you go out to Olive Garden, after asking the server to ask the chef if there is wine in the sauce. You do your research ahead of time by calling to speak to the manager so you don’t have to worry about it when you arrive at the restaurant. You live as a Muslim by making sure the lady in the next cubicle knows she has a strip of toilet paper clinging to the bottom of her shoe. You live as a Muslim by checking on your next-door neighbor before a storm to see if you can pick up some milk for her when you run to the store. You live as a Muslim by scheduling your day in such a way that you have time to pray your five daily prayers. You can Tivo “Jeopardy”. You live as a Muslim by walking past the hoochie mama shorts and picking up a nice long skirt instead. You live as a Muslim by tearing up all those credit card applications you get in the mail.
You live as a Muslim by living according to the tenets of Islam. You will, no doubt, ruffle some feathers. Your mom will say “You have such a lovely figure, why do you have to wear those loose clothes?” Your coworkers will give you the side eye when the adhan app goes off in your purse. The gal in the bathroom who catches you with your foot in the sink will stare. Your dad will be mad because his Catholic faith is not good enough for you. Your spouse will be irked because you are growing “an ugly scratchy beard”.
Some of you will encounter more serious obstacles and even threats of bodily harm. A dude will try to rip off your hijab. A creepy guy will follow your car. A gang of thugs will accost you in a supermarket. Someone will lob a Molotov cocktail at your masjid. You will lose a job because you are Muslim. Your family will disown you. Your spouse will divorce you and try to take the kids. Still, you live as a Muslim because when has it ever been said that life is fair, or easy? You live as a Muslim because you are a Muslim. You learn your religion and live it wholeheartedly and you fight for your rights with dignity and you make alliances with the many good people in this country who are of your faith, of another faith, or who have no faith at all. You have days when you cry because someone spit on your kid at school, you have days when you are so angry you can’t stop shaking, you have days when you wonder if you can continue. Then you go on and live as a Muslim.
Because you are a Muslim. Because Allah guided you, and that is a gift you can never repay. And He doesn’t ask you to. He just asks you to pray, and to fast, and to give your zakah, and cherish your parents, and raise your kids right, and take care of the environment, and be kind to strangers, and live in a manner that is pleasing to Him. You deal with the tests before you by remembering the tests our beloved Prophet Muhammad, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, faced, and how he lived with grace and dignity. Ask yourself, did anyone throw the entrails of dead animals on you today? They did it to him. Did anyone send the village kids after you to pelt you with stones? They did it to him. Did anyone plot to murder you in your sleep? They plotted against him. Did anyone toss you out of your hometown and force you to live in a desolate valley and nearly starve? They did it to him. They did all this to him and worse and he never gave up, never lost his faith, never railed against Allah even as he cradled a dying child. He had faith, he lived his faith in the midst of hostile people, and he endured and triumphed. Your triumph may not be manifest in this world, but surely it will be Jannah.
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