comment on this ad & enter to win painting!

Comment on this advertisement and be entered into a draw to win my original watercolor painting below, “Snowstorm Crow” (2.5”x3.5”), gallery value: $80.00! You don’t have to say anything smart, long, or funny unless you want to. The comments aren’t judged, although I reserve the right to edit comments that may be inappropriate. Just make a comment and you are automatically entered into the draw. One ballot per person, no matter how many comments you make! The contest ends Sunday midnight Atlantic Time.

About David Hayward

David Hayward runs the blog nakedpastor as a graffiti artist on the walls of religion where he critiques religion… specifically Christianity and the church. He also runs the online community The Lasting Supper where people can help themselves discover, explore and live in spiritual freedom.

  • Robin

    I think you’re on to something here Dave.

  • Brad Shorr

    All I can say is, glad this product is an ORAL thermometer.

  • Barry Adams

    This meter would really work. The device doesn’t even have to be on…if you buy one, to be tested you already fell below the hot level. The fact that your concern means there is room for changes.

  • Heidi

    Okay this is flat out hilarious! I don’t think you’ve left any room for improvement, it’s perfect!! Well done.

  • deb

    very good Dave, i like it. but would that come with a sterilizer? wouldn’t want to pass on those “luke warm” germs and have unwarrented spewwing.
    love the painting! how come you can do storms so well?

  • BrianM

    But I bought it to use on others Barry, I CERTAINLY don’t need it. ;-)

  • Jacquelyn

    Dang, it’s a good thing God doesn’t see like we see!

  • Peter

    How did the crow score?

  • Smudhe

    What are the shipping costs?

  • Michelle

    This is hilarious. Do they make a model for “teen angst”? I have three of them here that I could use one of these for.

  • nakedpastor

    shipping costs have been requested: $6.66

  • bobbie

    very funny!

  • mary Thomas

    Where do I send my money ?

  • Mark

    I will start handing these out at the door! Great idea!

  • darren

    If I order within a certain amount of time, will you throw in saved for FREE!!!
    That is Awesome..


    How many people would be ordering that!! Only the people that think they are going to be in the hot zone !!!

  • Northern Girl

    Sign me up.

    (And I’m with Brad Shorr on the whole “oral” vs. “rectal” deal. Ouch.)

  • Chris

    The spewing sounds most unpleasant.

    ‘Do they make a model for “teen angst”?’

    Michelle, “teen angst” is far too unpredictable and volatile. Every time we tried to create a meter the space-time continuum shifted and another solar system would implode. So we just went with (BO) measuring system. The worse they smell the more unstable the emotional state. So if it smells like a gym sock in your house when you get home….. move to Bolivia.

  • Beyond Words

    Do they make one for spiritual discernment? That would resolve a lot of conflicts once and for all. But, who would calibrate it? Orthodox, Emerging, Calvinist, Arminian…

  • Michelle

    RE: Teen angst

    Chris, thanks for the tip on measuring by the teen odor system. Judging from my son’s hamper, I think this might be a very effective system for us.

  • anne

    We need ushers at the door checking everyone out before letting us in Sunday morning. I would not want to clean up the throw-ups.

  • Jacquelyn

    Ahhhh man, did you have to choose that painting for the draw? I was hoping Jill would buy it for me for Christmas.

  • Slim14

    Awkward, but I wish it was that easy. Sometimes I wonder about myself!

  • hannah

    hmmmmm….im only in it for the painting.

  • mark

    This device would only produce a rush on Dentyne Cinammon extra hot breath mints and chewing gum. We are very creative when it comes to finding a way around the rules.

  • Andrew

    I’m only submitting this because I didn’t win the last contest. If I win, does the detector come with the painting?…and does the detector work with crows?…and is it ok if I put in a ballot for my great uncle who passed away after he was attacked by a a flock of crows?or is it gaggle of crows?…

  • nakedpastor

    actually, andrew, a group of crows are technically called a “murder” of crows… which is appropriate considering what they apparently did to your great uncle

  • Dan Wilt

    Nice crow. Nice thermometer. No real comment. Just want in on the snowcrow.

  • Richard Pryor.

    So your saying being on fire is a good thing?

  • Jill

    All this talk about vomiting and taking temps, teens that stink and crows………….is making me sick.

  • Edie Daniels

    I think that is a great invention. But I think we might all get thrown out a times.

  • Jacquelyn

    Jill – I think you might be sick but perhaps for other reasons lol

  • Jeff Berg

    Does this replace some of the old tests? Dancing, going to the movies, buying Bill Gaither music, etc?

  • Richard

    Holy snowcrow,Butman!!!!

  • sandy

    does it do directionals too?

    “generally hot but cooling rapidly at 240 kilojoules per day, will be in need of saving (again) before the next bender hits…”

  • Matte

    Agh,man. Let me submit a cross between a pithy comment and a pastoral-ish confession. Okay, forget the pithy comment and let’s head straight for the confession. My heart tore at me when I read the ad and I felt truly convicted about a stinky attitude that surfaced in my heart this week: it is a lack of genuine compassion for the very people God has called me to serve. Some of these people are sooo annoying and the rest that I kind of like most of the time, well, they prove themselves unreliable and uncommitted and fall way below my exprectations (exaggeration added for effect). I don’t need no stinkin’ guage that will tell me the horrible state my soul gets into sometimes; I need a doctor, a healer, a lover, a friend, and a forgiver to rid me of the arrogant judgmental unloving seeds I allow to grow when I look with eyes of comparison instead of love. Grace is the best thing ever invented. Grace Grace Grace, I need an ocean of grace. (written while crying and listening to “You are my Joy” by David Crowder Band).

  • nakedpastor

    beautiful matte

  • axegrinder


    we already have an infallible “devotion detector.” it is called the final judgment. the problem is that we do not have the patience to wait for it. we’ve got to get our grubby mits on everything and everybody.

    Lord have mercy. May those of us looking to diagnose everyone else not be found on the outs in that great day.

    Jason Kranzusch

  • Steve Thomas

    Does it come with an abundant supply of barf bags

  • John F

    I also want in on the crow. Oh, and I also want to know what the crows did to Andrew’s Great Uncle.

    And as a response to Matte’s great response on December 7: I need grace too, man. Big time. This week has been dry compared to last week, when I heard some good words on that subject, but I’m really trying to walk there. I figure that if I can learn to recieve grace freely, then maybe it’ll come out of me a lot easier. Or some days, at all.

  • Ellen

    Do you think the individual who had the time to invent such a ‘useful’ measure would consider creating a tool to pause the space time continuum so that I could have a few moments to myself?

  • Frank Emanuel

    I think they tried using that on my at Landover Baptist church. ;-)


  • Amaris Tippett

    Well God be Blessed, this is the answer the church has been waiting for. I am so glad we can now skip the rhetoric and shuffle people into their proper places. The church choir will always sing in tune, the Pastor will visit his whole congreation in their homes atleast once a week, and no layperson will dare tell another lie for fear of being spewed out. I’m likin’ this Dave, this will make your job alot easier. Who ever said God and science are an ungodly match, who be the fool? I’ll have 16 please!! hahahahahahahahahahahha

    Sincerely, from the Woman who will surely be filed into the leadership position. Wisdom like mine doesn’t come cheap. I’ll set the world sraight because once my temp is taken I will surely be sent to all the nations.

  • Fred

    In it for the painting…

  • Jon

    Around here you would need to submit to testing several times daily to find the mean and standard deviation – hmmmmm hot hot hot

  • kari

    Like Fred, in it for the painting…

  • Richard

    Is this a real add? I am not that familiar with “Scientology” or “science based” groups who beleive themselves to be Christian. But I am a little familiar with Quantum Science and Physics, and the “idea” is not out of the realm of scientific achievement (I already own a device that would, among 11,000 other items “discern” a person’s “spiritual health”. I urge folks in the Christian Church not to quickly discard science. That is, in my opinion how the New Age movement started. Simple folks with spiritual thirst came to THE CHURCH and were scorned and scolded instead of prayerfully listened to. Hence they go away and take their “insights” with them and start their own deal with no one to make a disciple of them (the modern Western Church it seems to me thinks Jesus said “go and give sermons, conferences and correction” rather than go and make disciples, and don’t offer a cup of cold water in my name, rather throw a cup of cold water on a small flame in my name) . No disciple makers led to where they are now. I am Evangelical, Charismatic, Protestant for those who like labels.

  • Richard

    To Andrew … I think it is a “murder” of crows believe it or not

  • Fred

    Yes, it’s a murder of crows.

  • Mark Fowler


  • robo


  • Nicole

    I think the proposed system for measuring teen angst would work better than the Devotion Detector.

  • pete

    can we use the evangelicals as test-subjects?

  • Emily (Davidson)

    Something about that ad breaks my heart. Don’t you have days where you just wish all of your junk would stop getting in the way of God? Maybe that’s a silly question.

    While I’m being silly, I should admit that I’m totally pumped to be posting on the same page as Dan Wilt.

  • Isteh

    I’m with axegrinder on this one, whatever happened to judge not lest ye be judged?

  • Julia

    I’m in – for the serene crow and the velvety snow. Hey, that rhymes!

  • jason

    interesting, how you say “revival” and not “renewal” since who wants to revive stupid spirituality–it comes down to this: been there, done that. Let’s not make this kind of ignorance a scientific fact (natural phenomena)!

  • jason

    hahaha “shipping and handling extra” good thing i have a rip off detector, and not just because of the tax….

  • Sandy Compton

    I think I left this in the wrong place before – my first time! what a great invention- I’d just take my temp each morning and be glad or sad. All that work trying to hear the Holy Spirit…whew!