Mark Driscoll and dripping faucet wives

Most days I sit before a white sheet of paper with my pens waiting for a cartoon to emerge from wherever they emerge from.

But sometimes you’re given something that just can’t be ignored. Like yesterday when I read what Mark Driscoll said about some wives being drippy faucets used for water torture:

“And some women – you’re a nag. You’re disrespectful. You’re quarrelsome. Being married to you is like a life sentence, and the guy’s just scratching on his wall every day, ‘One more day. Just one more day,’… Proverbs talks about certain women – they’re like a dripping faucet. You ever tried to sleep with a dripping faucet? Plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk. It’s what we use to torture people who are prisoners of war. A wife is like that. She just—boom, boom, boom, boom.”

You can listen to or read the transcript of the whole message here if you want.

Driscoll obviously is publicizing his at least occasional opinion of his own wife in this passage. “You ever tried to sleep with a dripping faucet? Plunk, plunk, plunk…” That’s someone talking from experience. There’s so much that could be unpacked from just that passage alone. Like, for instance, if I was his wife I would definitely get all up in his face about some issues. And it wouldn’t be just a drip either. To continue the faucet analogy, if he wants to turn her off maybe he shouldn’t have turned her on in the first place.

Driscoll’s messages are a strange mix of being okay and then suddenly not. It reminds me of the scene in Lord of the Rings when Biblo, an older, subdued and gentle Hobbit, suddenly turns into a monster and grabs for the ring. It’s only one split second, but it reveals that there’s something far more sinister going on beneath the surface.

That’s how I feel about Driscoll. I get defensive letters from his fans and followers. I understand where they’re coming from. But occasionally he says something that says to me that there’s something very sinister and even dangerous going on. It should get attention.

Driscoll seems to believe that either the husband is the head of the house or the wife is. Either/or. He says God voted the husband to be the head of the house. He is a complimentarian and believes husbands and wives work together, but the husband has the “Head of the Household” card. I believe there is a middle way where it isn’t either/or but both/and. Lisa and I have never concerned ourselves over who is head of the house. Never! We both are. With our kids.

The concept of collaborative teamwork was clearly not as present in Paul’s day as it is in ours. It’s there to use if we want.