whatever you do smile

whatever you do smile cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward
“Whatever You Do Smile” by David Hayward

You have the right to feel all your emotions. All!

You don’t need to schedule the darker ones out of your Sunday mornings.

Find a community where you can be yourself. All of yourself!

There are communities out there that embrace the totality of the human being.

Sure. Let’s be happy! But don’t require me to be happy all the time. Please.

If he was a man of sorrows acquainted with grief, then so can I.

And so can you.

I personally invite you to consider joining The Lasting Supper where you can be you along with others where they can be them. It’s working!

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  • Jennifer

    I woul love to join the last supper. I graduated from grace theological seminary. Ver fundamental, conservative grace brethren very similar to how I was raised. For the past 3 years I consider myself agnostic. I am on disability now and can’t major ends meet. Any help to be added anyway?

  • Jennifer,

    You’d fit right in! David thanks for posting this, I totally forgot “He was a man of sorrows…” when I posted about loss… Nice one!

  • jenn…. i’ve emailed you 🙂

  • Kris

    OMG, this reminds me of corporate America! No matter how bad things are, everything is happy happy happy! Drives me insane. I think the ideals of corporate America have spilled over into religion and that is why when you sell Jesus you tell those who are willing to buy that life will be perfect with Him. I refer to it as the Christian Industrial Complex.

  • Pat Pope


  • I love it that in our church people feel free to be sad and cry and others come to them and offer comfort.

    It happens every Sunday…every time we meet.

    And so does the joy and laughter, too.

  • Hey Old Adam. What would happen if no one tried to comfort them? What if there was a reprieve from trying to rescue people? What if we just let people be sad? Just a thought.

  • Let’s take a vote. How many people here would like to be just let be sad, and how many people would like someone to come and comfort them? And if you have to be sad for a while to work things through, how long does that need to be?

    It’s not surprising people don’t know what to say or do when some misfortune has befallen someone. Whatever they do will be wrong, they think. That could be very well it. Nothing is going to be right.

    Personally, I think the situation has to be felt out fresh ever single time. –“How are we doing today, just now?” People don’t even dare find out how you are doing because that’s already too deep or a potential minefield. In the end, however, we do want to be lifted up, having grieved, feeling chastened, seeking company, expressed the woe, slept on it, wept on it… we want to be comforted. And what comfort is there? Many have none.

  • ccws

    As a person of naturally serious temperament (and living with chronic depression into the bargain), I vote for LET (what looks like) SAD BE (what looks like) SAD! Some of us simply don’t have “happy” in us. We have our own brand of contentment and satisfaction, but it’s a sober contentment and satisfaction. Often we’re natural introverts who feel and think things deeply, need a lot of inner space to process our thoughts and feelings, and feel emotionally crowded and even threatened by others trying to “comfort” or “encourage” us or “cheer us up.”

    The fact is, people like me are just not “smiley” people. What you see is NOT what you get. Just as I don’t have “happy” in me, I may not have your kind of “sad” in me either – or at any rate, if I do, I probably won’t express it the way you do. If YOU don’t smile, it may mean you’re sad, but for ME it’s no big deal – much (if not most) of the time I’m just in a pensive mood.

    So I say, BACK OFF. If I think it’s safe, I’ll come to you – and when I do, just LISTEN. Maybe I just need to vent, or to hear myself think out loud. You don’t need to DO anything. Just BE there.

    Above all, do NOT try to cheer me up! Few things are more depressing than having someone try to push me into feeling some way I’m not capable of feeling. All it does is trigger my lifelong feelings of guilt and inadequacy over not being able to feel that way. And NEVER try to touch me physically. If I want a hug, I’ll ask for one.

    Just 2 brass farthings’ worth from an INFP-verging-on-INTP in an ESTJ world… 🙂

  • Thanks for saying ccws. We don’t have our labels on our foreheads, must be the problem.

  • I replied a couple of days ago, but my comment seems to have disappeared. I’ve also noticed that a couple of my other comments have vanished too. Wazzup?