our 33rd wedding anniversary

david and lisa hayward
David and Lisa Hayward 33rd Anniversary

Lisa and I are celebrating our 33rd wedding anniversary this weekend. We are very proud of our achievement. It has been years of delight and hard work. One does not exist without the other.

I have learned a great lesson, a spiritual one, from our relationship. Each of us has gone through incredible individual journeys. We have taken our turns being believers, agnostics and atheists. Rarely at the same time. Through it all we have loved each other. But it does take hard work. The hard work is to not really work. Instead, it is to not try to change or manipulate the other, to give the other space, to trust that they are the best captains of their own lives, to believe in them through thick and thin, and to appreciate who they are no matter what they are going through. Our love for each other encompasses everything about the other, even the stuff we can’t see and aren’t even aware of yet.

Along came our three children. They added to this challenge. The same principle applied. Love and hard work. Or loving hard work. Or hard-working love.

Sure, we have failed here and there. Miserably! But those are the polaroids. However, the movie’s theme is the two of us have become who we are on our own but in the gracious and loving embrace of the other. The same with the five of us.

When I was the pastor of a local church I applied the same principle and I love how it worked. When it worked.

This is why I am absolutely convinced that The Lasting Supper can work. I totally believe, because I’ve experienced it, that believers, agnostics and atheists and people of other faiths or religions or philosophies can form a healthy and dynamic collective. I believe such a community is like a fine cabernet sauvignon wine: the main flavor is the particular grape, but then it has notes of oak, leather, licorice and pepper. So is a functional community: the main flavor is love, but then it has notes of believer, atheist, agnostic and whatever else you contribute to it.

What a great weekend! I hope you have one too!

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  • Al Cruise

    Congrats! My wife and I will be 29 years this August.

  • David Hayward

    congrats! no small feat!

  • Blessings and congratulations, Lisa and David. May you have many more years of happiness and challenges.

  • I loved this post, David. It is a beautiful picture of the two of you – the written portion and the photograph.

  • David Hayward

    thanks everyone 🙂

  • Jana de Jager

    You are definitely a role model for me!

  • whistonlass@gmail.com

    Wishing you both a continuing happy and fulfilling marriage. You’re getting it right 🙂

  • Gary

    Congratulations David. We celebrate this month as well…30 years for us on the 28th.

  • A belated happy anniversary to you both!

    (I have no idea why this didn’t appear in my feed yesterday.)

  • Dennis Neff

    Congratulations to you and Lisa as you pass this milestone in your journey together! My wife and I are approaching our 20th year of our journey together – later this year. I love how you’ve collected your thoughts and observations of this point in your lives and discerned how you’ve been able to remain together for 33 years – I share much of what you say in my own experience. Peace and blessings! 😀

  • fredshope

    Happy Anniversary!