This month I’ve been like the pumpkin vine I’ve nurtured from a seed.
When a seed is grown indoors, it sprouts up into a life of luxury with ample water, light, and controlled temperature. Once it’s outside it has to survive bugs and spring time extremes of frost and heat. To help the plant “harden” meaning toughen up it’s stem and roots, you set it outside for a few hours a day. Apparently I didn’t quite do that enough for my young pumpkin. It’s two main leaves have withered and yellowed but the main stem and top leaves are strong.
It reminds me of myself. I was strong enough to work some and earn extra money which was a real relief. But my attitude/leaves withered when I kept seeing postings for jobs I would be perfect at and enjoy but they were full time. Then as an infection set in and I quickly wilted, becoming unmotivated, sleeping twelve hours a night and taking a couple of two hour naps a day. What I call my black mood of being bi-polar crept in. It’s hard to explain and I’ll try with another plant analogy. It’s as if a oozing mold gets into your brain and you are more of an animated sack with uncontrolled sad thoughts.
I had to prune myself by writing in my journal and doing my breathing. Controlling the negative thoughts and trying to find something positive each day.
Each of us will have times when a part of us will falter but if our roots and stem are strong, we’ll make it.