Addicted to “Big Love”

Let’s face it: there’s a scavenger element to modern Paganism. I mean, there have been syncretists before but Modern Pagans outstripped them 30 years ago.  Sure, we’re respectful, sincere, caring, and a whole boatload of lovely, honorable things, but we’re addicted to religion like Courtney Love’s addicted to being a hot mess.

I’m no exception. Growing up Southern Baptist I devoured Catholic and Anglican texts. As a youngster I’ll admit to experimenting with Mennonites, Pentecostals and Judaism. I’m omnivorous in my religious interests. So it’s probably not surprising I’m addicted to “Big Love”.

Now, I know it’s not an accurate portrayal of Mormonism. It’s on Showtime after all! Yet it draws me into to this faith culture of ritual, family and love. I understand the desire for love and security that influences women to choose the polygamous life. Like a nun joining Mother Theresa’s order, you’re given direction, purpose, community. Like being Pagan, you’re in a faith that’s a direct rebellion to the status quo.

It’s a strange desire of Americans, from the days of the colonies, to create insular, self-sufficient communities. We’re on the lookout for Utopia, be it in a hippie commune, a religious compound or a posh gated community on a golf course. We want to feel safe in a place where we belong and people think like we do.

That’s where “Big Love” hooks you. Bill, Barb, Nikki and Margene live on the edge. They are in the world but not of it. Though they are more secretive and insular than other families, they never fully withdraw into a faith culture cocoon. They move between worlds and speak dialects both sacred and profane. They’re not perfect in their faith, but ever stumbling towards light, forgiving each other on the way.

Despite the attractions for the occult dabbler, I have no interest in converting to Mormonism. I am happily content in my own fumbling spiritual journey. Though I understand the desire to abandon all for spiritual security, I find myself choosing the same path as the characters in “Big Love”.

Balance is an important virtue for me as a Pagan. The Delphic maxim reminds us “Nothing in excess.” My Pagan teachers remind me that while excess should be avoided, so should total abstinence. The trick is to walk between the worlds of the sacred and the mundane, to know them both, the flood and ebb. It’s not easy to hold onto two things at once. To be a skeptical mystic or a worldly hermit.

So my interest in “Big Love” is the idea that you should not sublimate your mundane life to your spiritual life, or vice versa. Seek balance and open yourself to love.

And, occasionally, pop open a pint of ice cream and indulge in prime time drama. It feels good…