– Don’t leave the toilet seat up – it’s just bad manners.
– You have to keep growing. Travel, read, experiment, think, talk, dream, and expand your horizons. Never rely on “that’s just the way I am,” as an excuse for being too afraid or lazy to grow. You are not yet the “you” that you are meant to be. You have to keep growing.
– Give each other credit for the small things. It’s too hard to be married if nobody notices that you still fold the laundry or mow the lawn, even though you hate every second of it.
– (I’m channeling Dr. Phil here) You have to decide if you want to be “right,” or you want to be “happy.” Most people want to be right more than they want to be happy – so they’re not.
– You cannot change your spouse’s behavior through negative reinforcement.
– It takes two selfish people to fight.
– Marriage does not exist for the benefit of its two members, but for the life of the world. The most dangerous spouse in the world is trying to “get” something from their marriage.
– Laugh. You have to laugh. If you don’t know how to laugh (Tim), you need to let your spouse teach you (thanks Kristin).
– There’s no way you can know what you are getting into when you marry. That’s why they make you take vows in front of other people and God.
– I thought marriage was about being in love, finding a soul mate, attraction, chemistry, compatibility. Those aren’t what marriage is about, those are what movies are about. Marriage is about fidelity through every season and challenge of life. Fidelity = Love
– When you are wrong, apologize – then do the dishes (or other acts of penance).
– Never take sides against the family – Santino Corleone was right after all.
I love you Kristin. Here’s to 15 more years. -T