Monday Morning Confessional

I confess that I’m sad that the conservatives voted out nearly all of the moderate voices in Kansas politics last week. I confess that I think checks and balances is the genius of the American political system, and sadly it will not be something Kansans can rely on for the foreseeable future. I confess that I do not think this will be good for our state, especially for those who are the most vulnerable.

I confess that my kids are going back to school this week and I don’t want them to go. I confess that we’ve had an amazing summer together. I confess that I love to be able to pop in and see them during the day, or eat lunch with them when I have no appointments. I confess that I love being able to keep them up late so we can do things together. I confess that I constantly wonder if I’m doing the right things as a parent and worry that I’m failing them.

I confess that I’m a 3 on the Enneagram, which is often called the achiever. This means that my basic fear is that I’m worthless, and my strongest desire is to feel valuable. Threes spend all of our time trying to be successful and to accomplish things that will bring us admiration, attention, and success. I confess that the characteristic sins of the 3-type are pretty awful. Most threes would rather cheat than lose, and rather lie than feel worthless in front of others. I confess (on behalf of threes), we can’t help ourselves. We are sorry that we are always talking about ourselves and trying to get you to tell us that we are doing well. We are sorry that we are not self-aware enough to show you the full picture of our lives. We don’t like feeling phoney and we (at least some of us), are really trying to learn how to be authentic, secure, humble and to spend less time talking about our accomplishments.

I confess that when I was a kid, I would sneak back to board games that were paused for a few hours and add $500 dollar bills to my bank roll in Monopoly, or add armies to my reserves in Risk (see Enneagram type 3).

I confess that I have not been reading enough. I hardly read anything during my vacation and spent the first week back catching up on administrative stuff. That means it’s been 4 weeks since I have spend any significant amount of time reading outside of sermon prep. I confess that this is shameful for someone who writes a theology blog.

I confess that my community group at church has been on hiatus for the summer and I really, really miss it. I confess that Kristin and I have spent the summer trying to plan ways to make it a better group & we are excited to jump in to the fall.

I confess that I will miss the summer Olympic games, and that I have an irresistible urge to visit the UK again.

I confess that I’m not at all surprised by Romney’s choice of Paul Ryan for veep. I confess that I’m planning to dig out my posts from a few months back concerning Ryan’s budget & the attention he garnered. My thought back then was that he was only doing it because he wanted a VP slot in the ticket. I confess that I no longer think this is true.

I confess that I believe Citizen’s United will have a deeper impact on the coming presidential and congressional elections that any other single factor. Citizen’s United is insane.

I made my confession – now you can make yours!


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  • Libby

    I confess that there is something about fall and my job’s busy season that reminds me to carry my inhaler with me at all times. I confess that it is hard for me to trust that God really will provide, and that I work to do it all myself more often than not. I confess I am most likely a 3 as well, and it is a pain.

  • Den

    I confess that I have little to no patience with much of the noise I’m hearing from both sides in our 2012 election season. The Left and the Right fails to represent what I believe. I am poorly served by both major parties, but I am even more poorly represented by the splinter groups. I know I must make choices on candidates this year, but it’s going to be a painful experience, one I am not looking forward to.

    I confess that I find solace in my Christian walk, a most welcome anodyne from the constant TV and media blather about our politics, our celebrity worship, and our penchant for fads. I am not talking about the latest Vatican pronouncement nor the latest scandal by some church official. I’m talking about my relationships with those in my church, in my family where blood and water together are stronger than either alone.

    I confess that writing sometimes becomes a huge chore, and it’s far easier to put off having to face a blank screen when I’d rather be vegging out in front of a screen ready to feed me somebody else’s fantasies. But it’s a discipline. And sometimes discipline is a chore.

    I confess that these moments of introspection are a sort of examen. Tim deserves a word of gratitude for this opportunity to reflect. So – thank you, Tim.

  • Chris Heintzelman

    I confess that I did not get to comment on last weeks MMC. I confess that my soul actually missed the opportunity to do so. I don’t think that I’m attached to actually typing my thoughts in the little box and clicking “post comment”. I believe what I rely on each week is the time and motivation to turn introspective, to look in my own heart and see if there is anything in there that is funny, frustrated, sad, convicting, or convicted. I have found that search to be medicating.

    I confess that I am so glad that Den used the word “penchant”. What a great word.

    I confess that for the past few weeks I have been submerged in some books that have been rocking my world. I’ve been split pretty evenly between theology and good old fashioned “Get off You Ass and Live Like Jesus” books. I feel as though the way that I’m looking at the whole world is altered. This brings up any interesting question that I’m wrestling with. Am I tossed to and fro by whatever wind of doctrine I’m currently reading, or are these books awakening a genuine conviction in me that submersion in my culture lulled to sleep? I’ll keep wrestling but until then I’m going to do my best to put my money where my mouth is and try to live more like Jesus.

    I confess that I could ditto everything Ken said about politics. For years I was a hard-core right-winged republican. I was this because I thought Jesus was too. “We” stood for the unborn, what else mattered? A few years back, my heart (and theology) began to alter. I was suddenly concerned about more things, like the poor, the environment, the way nations seem bent on killing each other at the slightest provocation. I ran to my Democrat friends for forgiveness and help. I quickly learned that though they were quick to offer forgiveness, I have yet to receive help. Instead, I seemed to be get the same rhetoric with a few different buzz words. My time as a Donkey was short-lived. I am now politically homeless. I would prefer to pass on voting this year and simply boycott our political process, but that’s the easy way out. I’m not sure what I’ll do or how I’ll vote. I confess that I miss being a “single issue voter”. That was easier.

    I confess that I’m typing this confession on my brand new laptop. I used to love getting new gadgets. It was honestly one of the highlights of my life. I confess that this no longer the case. Now it is simply a pain in the butt to get the new gadget all set up. Drivers and Default programs, passwords and programs, transferring and… and… don’t you hate it when an alteration won’t come together. Anyway, I’m not sure if my lack of joy that comes from breaking into some new piece of tech equipment is due to age and maturity, or simply due to the fact that all of my time on tech devices is work related and no longer fun. Actually, those two things may be related.

    I confess that I am also a 3 on the Enneagram, though my wings are balanced. I confess this personality test is new to me. I am more accustomed to Sanguine, Melancholy, Choleric, and Phlegmatic. I confess that a blend of these four is far more vague and easy to live with. As I read the analysis of a 3 on the Enneagram, I felt as though I was under a microscope. I confess that I wanted to deny that I have feelings of inadequacy. I scanned the other numbers to see if I could find one that I’d rather be, or at least admit to being, so no one would know that I’m insecure under my confident exterior. I confess that I feel naked.

    I confess that I am glad that my kids are going back to school. Since we homeschool, school forces us into a tighter rhythm. It keeps us organized, which I need. I also like that my highschoolers come to work with me throughout the week. They do school in my office a couple days a week since it is quieter there and most of their schooling is self paced and done on laptops. I enjoy the time we have at lunch and to and from the office. I feel for all the parents who don’t get as much time with their kids. Going back to school must be awful.

    I confess that I have had a very rough day. My tool trailer was stolen at work. I work in a part of town where this is not uncommon. We got sloppy and left the trailer sitting in a place it shouldn’t have been. My wife prayed for the “unfortunate souls who took the trailer”. I’m not there yet, but I know that I need to be. I confess that work and been rough all the way around the past month or so. I hope this changes soon.

  • Elijah Heintzelman

    I confess that i didn’t understand most of this MMC, and somehow, i still enjoyed reading it. I confess that this made me chuckle a little. I confess that i don’t understand politics whatsoever and this is my the cause of my lack of understanding in todays MMC.
    I confess that i have been filled with frustration these past couple of weeks. I confess that i ama pretty bitchy person do this constant frustration doesn’t surprise me. I confess that i have come to accept that all pessimistic melancholys are relatively bitchy and i don’t like it. I confess that i am envious realists, but not optimists. In fact, optimistic people seem stupid to me. I think this is a pretty common view among pessimists. I think that optimists think the same of pessimists, and realist are the only ones that know both sides are wrong in there views. I confess that regardless of my bitchy personality, i still laugh my ass off when i realize how pessimistic i can be.

  • Elijah Heintzelman

    Oh yeah! I’m a type 6 (the loyalist).