Monday Morning Confessional – Yes, It’s Wednesday

I confess that today’s Monday Morning Confessional is totally self-indulgent. You’ve been warned.

I confess that I have been sick since Saturday. You have no idea how much I hate writing that sentence. I rarely get sick, which is sort of a point of pride for me. But there’s no doubt about it. I was down and out for four straight days. I can’t remember being this sick for this long in my entire life. I missed church on Sunday (first time that’s happened since I’ve been on a church staff). And I missed a writing retreat at Conception Abbey; which means that I also missed a writing deadline for today… first writing deadline I’ve missed, too, and now I’ve missed this deadline twice.

I confess that I hate missing things.

On the upside, I confess that my new PR for a fever is now 104.3 degrees. For an achiever this is a pretty big deal. In fact I’m tempted to tell people that I’m not really sick, I’ve been attempting to probe the spiritual significance of a high fever. I think it will sound too much like bolshevik, so I’m not going to say it.  Still, 104.3′s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m pretty proud of that number. I think it’s worth it that I was actually seeing spots and hallucinating at the time.

I confess that yesterday I got up, got dressed, brushed my teeth, sat down to breakfast with the kids, then went skulking back to bed with my tail between my legs coughing a toxic cloud of germ-nastiness all the way, sending out tweets and emails cancelling all of my appointments and meetings, feeling guilty the whole time.

The feeling of guilt is something to which I should probably pay attention. I confess that the whole time I have been sick I feel the need to apologize for my sickness. Does anybody else do this? What the crap is that all about? Every time I cough with someone else in the room I say, “Sorry.” Now granted, the kind of coughing I’m doing right now is kind of gross. It’s that uncontrollable, spastic, convulsion-cough. The cough where the people around you instantly feel compelled to say, “Are you okay?” (Clearly I am not okay. It sounds like I’m trying to start a Model T with my throat). That fact aside, I think I’m seeing that my need to please others even extends to the reality that I cannot simply admit that I’m sick. I’m just going to lay here and rest so my body can heal itself. Finally my body forced the issue and so I stayed in bed for the past three days. I’m up at at em today, though highly medicated at the moment. Not sure I should be operating any heavy equipment.

I confess that I haven’t read or watched the news since last Saturday, and I feel surprisingly okay about that.

I confess that I have a mystery leak in my car. I have a 1994 VW Golf and I really love this car, but it’s leaking water into the front passenger floorboard. I’ve taken it in twice and can’t figure out where it’s coming from. It’s not the heating system – that all checks out fine. Must be leaking from one of the reservoirs like the well around the windshield or sunroof. I confess that I’m getting a little pissy about it. Here’s the weird part. It seems to only leak in the winter. So is there some sort of valve or flap that opens when the heat is on that re-routes rain water a different way that could be clogged? I confess that I am the last person you want troubleshooting a car. A sound system I can troubleshoot. A car? Not so much… I confess that it is raining today, so I should know more soon.

I confess that I do not understand why my Facebook and my blog don’t play more nicely with one another. Often when I link to my blog, what appears is not the picture I’ve posted with the excerpt from the post, but an odd truncated link. Nobody seems to be able to figure out why it’s happening. I’m just attempting to be happy for the times that it does work.

I confess that while I was home for Thanksgiving, we had lunch at Bogey’s and I did not order a shake. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was crowded and we had the kids so we had to split up in two table… I just froze. The hamburger & fries were great as always. But seriously? You go to Bogey’s and don’t get a shake? I’m embarrassed. Hence this confession.

I confess that I was trying to do “The Streak” this year – running every single day between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day – but it was blown out of the water by the above sickness. I ran on Saturday before things got really bad, but haven’t hit the pavement since. Given that I cannot take a deep breath without coughing up a lung, I’m guessing I’m not running for a few more days. Bleh… Now I’m wondering if I should just forget about it, or rejoin the streak all ready in progress. Or… I could make up the lost days by running twice for enough days to offset? Madness?

Okay friends, I’ve made my confession. Time for you to make yours:

About Tim Suttle

Tim Suttle is a pastor, writer, and musician. He is the author of several books: Shrink: Faithful Ministry in a Church Growth Culture (Zondervan 2014), Public Jesus (The House Studio, 2012), and An Evangelical Social Gospel? (Cascade Books, 2011). Tim's work has been featured at The Huffington Post, The Washington Post, Sojourners, and other magazines and journals. Tim is also the founder and front-man of the popular Christian band Satellite Soul, with whom he toured for nearly a decade. He has planted three successful churches over the past 13 years and is the Senior Pastor of Redemption Church in Olathe, Kan. Tim's blog, Paperback Theology, is hosted at Patheos.


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