Jessa Duggar’s Happily Ever After

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So Jessa Duggar is officially courting and seeing the headlines on news sites and the links people were sharing made me feel nauseous. Reading the articles where they are portrayed as a young couple making a quaint and cute (albeit different) choice when it comes to romance. And then reading the comments where clueless person after clueless person gushes admiration for the “values” and praises them for being “role models.” My heart rate goes up. I close my laptop. I try not to think about it, but still end up feeling vaguely sad. Because I know the rest of the story, I lived it.I know the stuff that the news articles and the commenters don’t know. How a girl in this movement is told thro … [Read more...]

Yes I buy ice cream with my food stamps.

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When we were on the brink of transition, and facing the prospect of losing our income and home, we spent a lot of time crunching numbers. How much money would we need to survive for 3 months with no income? How about 6 months? We added up the costs for rent, insurance gas and upkeep for our 13 year old van, utilities, our life insurance policies, and diapers. And one of the costs I always included in my calculations was food.It never even occurred to me to get food stamps. That was something “lazy” people got, who “didn’t work” and “lived off the government”.  Even when times were tight in the past, we put food expenses on our credit card, never even considering that we might qualify for … [Read more...]

Butch, Femme, Style, and Developing a Sense of Self

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 I remember climbing up the fence to scramble onto the roof, sometimes holding the hem of my skirt between my teeth while I climbed helped to keep it out of the way. I remember sitting in the apple tree reading my book, and how I jumped down and a branch hooked onto the hem and ripped a 2 foot gash in my skirt. My younger brother had a pair of combat boots that I would wear sometimes, just around the house or yard, they were awesome. I went on a trip with my grandparents, part of what made it so awesome was that I got to wear jeans and boots for hiking pretty much every day.Style and sense of self weren’t so much a discovery in my childhood. What we could or could not wear was s … [Read more...]

Happy Birthday Haley

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We’ve been together eight years babe, and boy has it been a ride. A facebook group started a thread where we could list 5 favorite things about our partner, and since it’s your birthday I thought I’d put it here to surprise you too. Lets see, what are my favorite things about you… You are Passionate- You know your truth and you will stand up for it. You believe in me and support me to the hilt. You want to be there for our kids, so you pour yourself into caring for them. You have never been one to just say stuff, you follow through in real, visible, consistent ways. When you get interested in something, you think about it, often pacing across the room, and spinning around to pace back. And … [Read more...]

Learning Humility

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We got a mattress.It’s the first big ticket purchase we’ve made in a long time so it’s kind of a big deal.The delivery guys were coming between 9 and 12 on Saturday to drop it off. This was good. I don’t work Saturday, Haley does, but I usually take advantage of an entire day where I am not tired from already working an eight hour shift on my feet to get some cleaning done.And then they showed up at 9:14, when I had just finished feeding everyone breakfast and getting them all dressed and barely started picking up. I let them in, and showed them our bedroom down the hall. One of them was sweet, he smiled, gave the kids mints, and didn’t seem to mind stepping around the piles of la … [Read more...]

Substance and Spice

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 I worked second shift for 8 months. 30+ hours a week, going to bed at 1 in the morning, getting up to watch the kids during the day, and going to work as soon as evening arrived. 2 months ago, I had the chance to switch to daytime hours, so I did. And the deal came with full-time hours and a decent raise to boot. So now I get up early, work 8 hours and come home before my oldest gets home from school. They are good hours, dream hours really, some people work their whole lives to get hours like these. It’s been good. And it’s been new.New is exhausting sometimes. We enrolled Ms Drama in school, and went to her kindergarten orientation. I sat back in my chair and yaw … [Read more...]

Guest Post at Homeschooler’s Anonymous

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 So it's been over two months since my last post, and I hope to write about what has been going on lately soon. In the meantime, I have dipped my toes back into the writing world by writing a piece for Homeschoolers Anonymous.They are having a homeschooled LGBTQ week, so be sure to check out the stories of other people who grew up homeschooled and queer, or grew up opposing gay rights and later became allies. If you read the posts prior to this week, Homeschoolers Anonymous is giving a voice to people who grew up homeschooled and have something to say about it. Some of the stories are heartbreaking, others are inspiring, but all need to be told, and all need to be heard.Here … [Read more...]


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