Shame and Hospitality

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Haley had scheduled the get-together a week in advance. I knew all about it. And then we both forgot.Haley called me at 4 in the afternoon, “Do you remember that we have people coming over at 6?” My whole day came crashing down.We hadn’t cleaned the house that weekend, because no one was feeling that well. There was a mountain of laundry in the kitchen in front of the wash machine, and the sink was full of dishes. Toys were scattered throughout the house along with used tissues from all the snotty noses. I had nothing on hand to serve a guest. I wanted to cry.I snapped at the kids, I turned up the radio and buckled down to cleaning as fast as I could. I cleaned up the bathroom, mo … [Read more...]

The Habit of Peace

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Every season is nice, but each one ends up feeling about 6 weeks too long for my taste. I have always hated the month of January, long, cold, gray, lonely January.And this year February starts with more snow.I may be tired of the cold, but the snow is beautiful. What makes it swirl as it falls? It’s like a soft blanket for the soul. Watching it fall soothes the hurts, it feels like a hug.Quiet. That’s what it is. Snow falling is the definition of quiet, even if you are surrounded by chaos, lightly falling snow is a visual representation of peace.Peace. I’m still learning the meaning of the word. I used to think that peace meant that everything was perfect, something to be stri … [Read more...]

“Natural”

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 There is a Christian arguement against being gay that claims it is "unnatural". You know, Men and Women belong together. Heterosexuality is the normal natural way to be. Tab A fits perfectly into Slot B and all that. The argument is that most people are straight, gay people are just a small percentage of people who have fallen into unnatural desires.Conservative Catholics in particular love this “natural law” argument, because they feel that it is non-religious in nature, and therefore in their mind applies to everyone. And yet, growing up as a conservative Christian, I was told to be different, part of a peculiar people, to stand out from the crowd and avoid the majority cultur … [Read more...]

Dr King, Homeschooling, and Selective Education

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I rolled out of bed late Monday morning and when we eventually turned on the Television, the Presidential inauguration was in full swing. At some point the name of Martin Luther King Jr was mentioned and Ms Action announced “I know about Martin Luther King, there is a song about him!”“That’s why you are off of school today, it’s a holiday to celebrate Martin Luther King.”“White people killed him mom.” She told me solemnly. “Yes they did.” I replied. “Some people think that white people are better than black people, and they killed Martin Luther King.” She was quiet for a moment, and then said “But that’s not true mom, white people and black people are the same. And we don’t need to or … [Read more...]

On Growing Older

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This post was written by my wife Haley.Today I read a book titled, “In Our Mothers’ house.” (The title means mothers plural, even Word wants to be heterosexist and change it to “Mother’s” house.) This book tells the story about a lesbian couple through their lifespan as an elementary school children’s book. The story picks up with a lesbian couple adopting three kids and ends with those kids grown and eventually burying their moms after they got old and died. I couldn’t help but get teary eyed as I read the book to my five year old daughter. I found the story so beautiful. I saw a glimpse of me and my wife growing old together and how after raising our own four kids, we’d someday probably … [Read more...]

A New Year

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 2013.  I’m not used to it yet. The year sounds silly in my mind, and I find myself writing 2012 on everything still. As we decorated for the holiday season,  I found myself remembering the last time I saw these decorations just one year ago.  How we got wind of the rumors that had started and the actions being taken, and we wondered how long we would have to leave. Would we be booted from the parsonage within days or weeks? How long would this process take? The uncertainty and tension, the awkward church services, Haley going to intense meetings where she was officially informed of the churches disapproval of her existence, the exhaustion.  Packing some of what we owned, and givin … [Read more...]

What can I even say?

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 I was in the middle of trying to get a couple posts together. Mr Punk was making it very difficult by climbing all over me. I eventually gave up and turned the computer off and did come housecleaning instead. When he went down for his nap I turned it back on, and all thoughts of writing vanished from my head as I read the first headline, and I am still struggling to pick up my writing where I left off. Another shooting. In what is supposed to be a safe place. An elementary school.How many children dead? How many more traumatized?I cried. I counted the minutes until it was time to pick up my 5 year old from the bus stop. I wanted to crawl under the blankets. I wanted to move … [Read more...]


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