Quick Hits: Modesty, LGBTQ, and “Honoring” Women

A North Carolina pastor’s anti-gay tirade has gone viral on youtube. He proposes sending all non-heterosexuals to concentration camps, where they will die off because “they can’t reproduce!!1eleven11!!1″ In other words, he’s the guy Jonathan Swift could only pretend to be.

NC Pastor Gives Sermon on Killing Off Homosexuals
Members Stand Behind Pastor’s Anti-Gay Sermon

Melissa’s partner Haley writes about her experience as a transgender woman raised as a fundamentalist man:

When You Are Everything You Were Taught to Hate

Darcy responds to the Christian fundamentalist claim that strict gender roles exist to “respect” and “honor” women:

“You’re Not Being Insulted, You’re Being Honored!”


School’s Religious Policy Makes Boys Forfeit Baseball Championship Because of One Girl on The Opposing Team
Litzman in Hot Water for Refusing Minister’s Hand (On Orthodox Judaism preventing a man from shaking a woman’s hand)
Woman Matters – Opinion Piece by Reem M. Assad
 (On driving, modesty and respect for Saudi women; excerpt below)

In Saudi, the most important aspect of woman participation in public life and economic sphere remains to be … modesty. Her modesty determines whether she is a “fit” Saudi woman or a “model Saudi woman” (i.e. representative of her fellow Saudi women). So if her picture appears in the news, she is judged by the level of coverage on her face. On a scale from completely veiled (face unseen) to bare head — with many variations in between — a woman’s appearance in commented on and therefore the woman gets “labeled” or socially stratified based on the level of modesty.
In fairness, a woman is judged on her looks everywhere in the world, and modesty is a key part of professional appearance yet ranking it as the most critical feature of an achieving woman who serves her community is nothing but ridiculous.
Modesty-Virtue (from All About God; excerpt below)
There are several definitions for modesty in most dictionaries; it is most often rendered as humility, shyness, or simplicity. In today’s society any of these definitions of modesty may be seen as negative since we often focus on self; self esteem, self respect, and self expression.
My note: The above article implicitly conflates self-esteem and self-respect with arrogance and vanity. They are not the same thing. You can (and should!) be humble and also have self-respect.
Curtis says, “I want a girl who I can respect and who will respect the fact that I want to guard my eyes against lusting after her body before we are married.”
These reminders of modesty also apply to men like no other time in history. 
As you get dressed, evaluate what you plan to wear. Wear items that will make it easier for guys to treat you with dignity and respect.
My note: If your respect for a woman depends on your own approval of her clothing choices, you do not respect her as a person even when you “respect” her modesty.

The Fistfight Fallacy: rape culture's ahistorical premise
Daughter of the Patriarchy, epilogue: What does leaving fundamentalism look like?
Sexism, Judgment Day and Forgetting as a Survival Skill
A Sober Second Look writes about Islamophobia