7 Hot Takes

7 Hot Takes September 22, 2017

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Oh, so Today is the first day of fall. My bad. It’s confusing because of it finally being the summer we never had. How was I to know?

One
I mean, for real, it must be an act of God, because I was trying to gear up to face getting out the winter clothes, but I was pretty sure I didn’t have it in me. Not only does that mean getting all the bins down and picking through them, but it also means actually doing all the laundry and wandering around trying to find summer items to put away. Which is going to be a massive hassle because I will have to clean the children’s rooms, again.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to do this, as in clean their rooms, any more. It’s not like they are babies or toddlers. There’s no reason for clothes to be thrown everywhere, for books to be flung down, for cups to be collected on bedside tables–what do you need twenty cups for? There is no practical occasion for it to look like thieves broke in to steal and destroy. I don’t get it.

Two
The weather, tho, it is so amazing. I’ve actually been able to walk around in my own house without a sweater on for a little bit this week. Something I was never able to do when it was officially summer. And it looks like I will be able to again next week too. We’re having to water the garden. And I’ve left all the stuff I inadvertently soaked by leaving the sink on for who knows how long lying about in the yard. It adds a little something, you know, to the graciousness of my back garden–sleeping bags, blocks, shoes, old dead cds. Why was all this in the basement right under my sink? There’s no way I would be able to answer that question because I try never to go down there just like I don’t go in the children’s rooms.

Three
Incidentally, I saw an advertisement for some company who will take all your old family movies and distill them onto a…wait for it…jump drive.

Um. I haven’t used one of those in a year or something. What am I supposed to do with a jump drive? I mean, I can’t use my cds. Or my cassette tapes. Or my VHS thingies. Or all my little SD cards. What on earth would I do with a jump drive? When the children leave I’m going to curate my graveyard of obsolete technology and open up a little museum in my basement. I’ve got enough for a fascinating walk through the long forgotten past, as in, last year.

Four
Here is a clip of a wombat insisting on a pat. This is a lot cuter than our ghastly chiweenie splaying himself for his tummy to be rubbed.

If you have children and are thinking about getting a dog, don’t get a chiweenie. That’s my advice. Get a wombat instead.

Five
I’ve been homeschooling for a lot of years and I still need someone to explain to me how to both cook and do school. When we’re in school mode, I bake chicken on Tuesday, cobble together chili on Wednesday, throw something in a pan on Thursday, and do leftovers on Friday. Week after monotonous week. I know, you’re thinking, what about Monday? Monday we eat whatever we ate on Sunday over again.

Every year I think, I’m going to break out, I’m going to cook my way through a book, or eat through the Jewish liturgical year, or literally do anything else at all, but I never do.

I should probably run out and buy an insta pot. That’s probably the lesson here.

Six
In contrast to me and my boring life, take a gander at this awesome response of Kim Jong Un to President Trump’s very enjoyable UN speech. This is such a fantastic time to be alive and to be an enjoyer of words. I think it would be wonderful to have both the speech and the response put into a poetry form and then read onto an audio cassette with loons playing in the background. That’s what I want for Christmas.

Seven
Go check out more Takes! Bone broth for the win. Pip pip.


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