For the Ones Who Cry When No One is Around

Do you have tears that no one ever sees? Do you go through life with a brave face or confident smile, but when you are alone, it dissipates?

Maybe you feel numb to the world around you. You have stuffed down your emotions so far that you struggle with feeling them.

Perhaps your heart has been riddled with guilt and despair because, in spite of your accomplishments, you do not feel happy.

As you cry yourself to sleep, you ask questions like, “God, what about me?”

You find yourself resisting the urge to scream, “God, why me?”

These thoughts torment you because you think that you should be more grateful,  have more faith,  have more.

This post* is for you or someone you know.

It is for the ones who cry when no one is around.

I am here to affirm that I see and feel part of your experience.

If only people could see the enormity of your heart.

You give banquets of support to your friends and family, only to receive crumbs when you want someone to be there for you.

You might be the person with loads of love to give, but your fear of getting hurt, again, paralyzes you.

The reality is that you can live in a bustling city with thousands of people or a cozy town with less than a hundred folks and still feel like no one truly sees what you are going through.

As much as many of you believe God is with you and that you are never alone, sometimes it helps to know that another Divine creation in human form sees, hears, and feels us.

I get sense that you feel weary.

I know your soul needs resting from the harsh blows of life.

As much as you keep going, I see that, some days, you feel like you are barely holding on and up.

More Than Your Trying

I want to remind you that you are not your trying. You are not what or who you are trying to be.

You try to be perfect.

Try to be successful.

Try to be heard.

Try to feel safe.

Try to have it all.

Try to overcome.

You try to turn it around.

You are exhausted by your trying.

I want you to know that cannot shop, learn, eat, sleep, work, drink, or serve away the pain or the incessant desire to prove your worth.

Most of all, you cannot pretend any of it away. You are more than enough.

I have been confronted with this truth after trying a number of these remedies.

The real you might be covered with years of beliefs, habits, and lifestyles, and outside influences that keep you from living or realizing this truth.

Nonetheless, I encourage you to know the truth.

Incredible, Magnificent, and Good News

I have good news for you.

You are magnificent, even if you do not think your current life reflects it back to you.

I bear witness that your deepest fears, anxieties, and frustrations are opportunities. Because these are gifts, I believe you are receiving an invitation to expand.

Within this growing tension, where your soul and your spirit are fighting/crying out beyond your will, lies a path that reveals the real you.

I have more good news: You are absolutely incredible.

When you take a closer look at the word, “incredible,” you find that it means beyond belief or extraordinary.

Think about it for a moment.

Because many people find God to be literally beyond belief, it makes sense that you, a Divine masterpiece, would be just as unbelievable.

Being incredible has nothing to do with what you do.

By far, I believe incredible is who you are.

Your silent and secret frustrations do not make you any more or less incredible.

Again,  you probably feel this way because you mistake your socialization and personality (and choices made from these identities) for the real you.

You are not your career, ministry, philanthropy, family, friends, material possessions, or your looks.

You are absolutely incredible apart from anything that you have ever done or will ever do.

If you are going through life with endless justifications for keeping up pretenses, then you are not allowing the incredible you to emerge.

Wherever you are in terms of knowing this truth, your heart has been fighting to live and experience it.

The Challenge

I have a challenge for you.

Actually, I am not the one presenting you with a challenge. I am sharing my perception of the challenge prompted by your experiences.

The challenge is to let go and be.

Instead of trying to be the strong one or the one who seems to have it all together, what if you let go of this trying?

What if you stopped working hard to hide your humanness and started allowing yourself to be human?

Besides, you do not need to be anyone’s shero, hero, or xero.

You really don’t.

Before accepting the challenge, I gently caution you that the journey to freeing yourself involves suffering.

Your pride and ego will suffer when you choose to lean deeper a journey beyond the façades.

Even if you suffer from experiencing your fears confirmed, you will expand from experiencing those fears disconfirmed. Remember when I mentioned your habits and socialization?

You will suffer because people will fight to keep you performing the roles you have played in their lives or your world.

You might be wondering, “If I already feel weary, why trade one suffering for another?”

If you consider how the loss of ego, pride, and even certain relationships can create more room for the abundance of joy and peace you have longed for, you might want to trade.

Such loss gives room for fulfillment, as well as authentic relationships that rejoice and encourage you in your humanity instead a performance.

Out of this kind of suffering, a more liberated soul and truer strength emerges.

By accepting the tearful invitations-the challenges-that are calling your name, you welcome more grace into your life.

Selah.

*This post is not a substitute for professional mental health support.