Abducted by art!

So I says to myself, I says, if people are going to misunderstand me and get mad when I’m just saying things like, “Babies are nice.  I like life.  Thanks, God,” then why don’t I give them something interesting to misunderstand and get mad about?  Art, history, fatness, gender studies, and naked ladies.  Nah, nobody will get upset.

Also, it gives me an opportunity to tell this story:

When my kids were little, I showed them that masterwork of techincolor ham, “The Ten Commandments.”  We came to the scene that wallows in the sufferings of the Hebrew slaves:  the groaning, the sweating, the filth, and the brutality of the Egyptian taskmasters as they whipped the poor slaves without mercy.  My then five-year-old son is rather emotional, so I looked over to see how he was handling it.  His eyes were wide and his mouth was agape.  And he said, “Boy.  I wish I had a whip.”

Wulp, we’re going to the zoo, so if the combox freak show gets too freaky, I’ll have to get caught up later!

  • Jenny Sawyer

    Let me just say that I love the combox platform because I see that it has brought a new dimension in the communication that exists between the readers and the writers, but it is also devastating when such a thought provoking essay has to constantly kowtow to the reader who will find fault with the author’s intention and choice of words no matter how hard she tries (and I’m hoping against hope that nobody reads this post as trivializing rape!) You are brilliant and it is a great “too bad” about that!

  • suburbancorrespondent

    I’m sickened, Simcha, by how you are condoning sadism in this post. Obviously, you have no understanding whatsoever of The Ten Commandments. And you call yourself a Catholic!

  • Rebecca

    I couldn’t believe a few of those comments yesterday! I thought people were joking, but then wait they were serious, but no they had to be joking…

  • http://okthisisawesome.blogspot.com John Henry

    Thanks for yet another awesome post. I’m with Rebecca: These people can’t be serious. It’s a joke. Right? Not a very funny one, but… But they can’t be serious. Ditto on the whole pants issue. How is that even a subject of debate? O_o

  • http://auntiesuzanne.blogspot.com Suzanne

    Your son’s reaction gave me the best laugh of my day. Is he related to little Alice from the comic strip Cul-de-Sac? (See an animated strip here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qceVsoGdD7g )

  • Pippa

    With that comment, I believe what the woman was trying to express is that conception and the creation of a new human being IS a miracle because it’s us humans taking part in God’s creation of a new soul – a new supernatural being. The fusion of the spiritual and physical doesn’t ordinarily happen in nature, and that is why the creation of each human is a miraculous event.

  • Sarah Cox

    oh ha ha and nobody has gotten upset over the art/fatness/gender article.

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher Simcha Fisher

      I know. I should have stuck with my original title, “Raped by Rubens.”

      • Sarah Cox

        ah. I see I was a little hasty in my assessment. I’ll leave you to figure out what the heck cc is trying to say and whether it deserves a response! As for the other guy…nicely worded but …meh…

  • Anne-Marie

    Your story reminds me of my nephew, who at a fairly young age declared he wanted to be a priest when he grew up. “Oh,” said his proud mother, “do you want to help people be close to Jesus? Do you want to confect the Eucharist?” “I want,” said the boy, “when I walk into a room, to have everybody stand up.”

  • anna lisa

    *Of course* I was kidding about the Keats comments. I guess I really have been corrupted into thinking that tomatoes can be sexy. I fessed up to my crime to lighten up the tone of the “miracle” war. Oh well, now everyone is going to think I’m a vegetable pervert. I still can’t decide if that bothers me.

  • richard


    I’m with you on this one.

  • http://littleeinhorn.blogspot.com Kate

    So funny! When my brothers were younger, my mother took them to the Stations of the Cross during Lent. At the final station, they all paused in silent reflection. My brother said, “Mom.” – “Yes.” – “I bet I know what Jesus said on the Cross as He died.” – “What’s that?” – “You’ll never get away with this.” Oh my!