The Stupids Are Prepared

Every once in a while, someone writes to me looking for advice about how to run a large household with thrift and efficiency.

Why don’t I?  Because of things like this:

What?  I had a dream.  It’s going to be a bad scene, folks — the great ketchup famine of ’14.  Be prepared!  Plus, it’s not often that I come out looking worse than Mrs. Pig,

At least she bought all that ketchup on purpose. I, on the other hand, just suck at making shopping lists.

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  • DeirdreMundy

    Hey, at least you won’t get scurvy when the Zombie apocalypse hits.

    My theory is that some moms are put on this earth to inspire others to try harder, do better, and make housekeeping into an art.

    And some of us exist so that all the OTHER moms can feel better than themselves. “Sure, I’m a bit behind on laundry, but at least my laundry pile isn’t as big as the Mundys!” “Heck, at least my kids never show up at church with dirty faces.” “I may be no Martha Steward, but at least I’m not Deirdre Mundy!….”

    I also take inspiration from Jane Yolen. Apparently her cleaning tactic of choice was to live in one room at a time as she wrote and the kids played, and then move onto the next when the first room was totally trashed, and so on and so forth…. then, once a month, she’d clean the house…….

  • While I’m relieved that none of them say “catsup,” I’m a bit perplexed by the two bottles without labels. Did those have homemade ketchup in them? Or were they purchased on the condiment black market (moon-tchup… red lightening).

    • Kate Cousino

      Victor, do you mean to say you never indulged in that fascinating hobby of label-peeling when you were a child? Because my kids seem to think it is some kind of compulsory occupation.

      • Ah, that would explain it. Our kids are more into label-reading. They fight over who gets to read the recipes off the back of the ketchup bottles and our seven-year-old can tell you how many grams of protein are in a serving of every container of food in our house.

        • Kate Cousino

          My 8 year old will read anything printed (before absentmindedly tearing it to shreds), but my 5 year old is definitely a devoted label-peeler.

        • silicasandra

          I was a reader-then-peeler. (OK, maybe it isn’t as past tense as it should be…)

          In my defense, empty and delabelled plastic squeeze bottles make excellent bath toys.

      • I thought it was like my bottles- too much time between changing ice in the ice chest, washes off the label.

  • richard

    I have not heard yet about a shortage. Anyway ketchup is one of two foods I cannot eat because of its acidic content. The other is pineapple.

  • suburbancorrespondnt

    I completely identify with the condiment overload problem. There should be some sort of 12-Step group to help people like me.

  • Amelia Bentrup

    Ha…our refrigerator looks the same way…with the same peeled off labels and almost-but-not-quite-empty bottles that no one wants to use up or throw away.