Stop hyperventilating! Save yer breath fer yer porridge!

I’ll admit, I have my moments where – having allowed myself to spend too many hours reading blogs and the mainstream press – I get rather feverish, and subject myself to the sort of gasping and hand-wringing that I’ve been reading in various “comments” sections over the past few days. “Oh my GAWD! The NEWSWEEK Poll! We’re all gonna DIE!!!!

And so I’m kind of proud of myself that I didn’t succumb to the temptation to despair this time around. I was only mildly disappointed that the president seemed off his game in last week’s so-called “debate”. It was supposed to be a debate, right?

“Senator Kerry?? Please tell us why Bush is such a suck-y president!”

“Why, thank you Jim, I shall – although ( fake and modest harrumph) I wouldn’t use that harsh word: SUCK-Y. Tres gauche, paysan du! Nevertheless, I regret to say that President Bush bites the big one, and he’s a poopy head and he doesn’t parlez vous francais, either.”

“Mr. Bush? Do you agree with Senator Kerry, that you bite and do not speak French?”

(Steam coming from his ears as he watches various pens, ipods, notecards and fine mints and truffles spill from the senator’s pockets and sleeves) “Hey, I don’t hinky dink the parlee vous, and I don’t need to. The American people don’t need a president who can speak French. They need a president who can take that over-botoxed, moribund fop over there and dunk his head in the twa-lay a few times and kick his ass, I’ll tell you what, and I sure wish we didn’t have that rule about not crossing the stage, so I could see what that neiner has up his sleeve, I bet it ain’t foy grass!!”

Sorry, I’m blowing off steam. Anywho…I didn’t believe the Newsweek poll – the change was too stark. And then of course, our friends at Polipundit (to whom I always turn for fast, accurate and excellent poll analysis) pointed out that Newsweek had polled only the Pacific and Mountain states, had left out the entire south and many of the battleground states and so I said, pfffft!

Meanwhile, I had friends calling me, teetering on the edge of nervous breakdowns, not because of President Bush so much (although they mostly wished he’d called Kerry on some of his stupider/more outrageous claims) but because of the media hyping of John Kerry. Sigh. We can’t help what the press does. Once in a while we can effect a correction, but for the most part they’re like mindless three year-old racers trotting along on their standard course, wearing blinders, hastening under the master’s whip and refusing to acknowledge the new, fresh tracks being laid through alternate news sources. That’s fine. Eventually they’re going to stumble hard (Dan Rather already has, although they’re patching him up) and find that they’ll either have to run the newer, more accountable track or just get put down and out of their misery.

Sorry, I’m blowing off metaphors. Anywho…we see now that additional polls have come out which suggest a more reasonable, sane reading of the public temper at the moment, and that Kerry Spot Guy has the goods. Go. Read it. Breath. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Blooooowwwww all that negativity away! Put down the pills and the razors! Or, as that yappy Hannity will say: “Let not your hearts be troubled”. God is in this, as He is in all things. Everything is fluid and changing daily. Amen. Alleluia.

I do hope, however, that President Bush takes the time to get really rested (and perhaps pedicured?) before the next debate. And perhaps he should try to find Kerry amusing rather than disgusting this time.

Good advice for us all, I think.

ASIDE: Many of you have very kindly written of your prayers for my dear brother, and I have passed your messages on to my family who are profoundly grateful. Part of the reason I was less distressed than others about the seeming turn of events over the weekend was – of course – because of these other concerns. (And btw, many thanks to Captain Ed for linking to me on behalf of my brother. Ed is exceedingly kind.)

I will be posting some thoughts on this whole process we’re enduring, perhaps tonight. And as my old granny would say: God bless ye’s.

About Elizabeth Scalia

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