Coat Hanger Caper;"Shut up, Witness."

It’s 2002, In a UK Courtroom, and a man is being tried for stealing 40,000 hotel coat hangers and Joseph Heller could not have written a more entertaining transcript!

Counsel: What is your name?

Chrysler: Chrysler. Arnold Chrysler.

Counsel: Is that your own name?

Chrysler: Whose name do you think it is?

Counsel: I am just asking if it is your name.

Chrysler: And I have just told you it is. Why do you doubt it?

Counsel: It is not unknown for people to give a false name in court.

Chrysler: Which court?

Counsel: This court.

Chrysler: What is the name of this court?

Counsel: This is No 5 Court.

Chrysler: No, that is the number of this court. What is the name of this court?

Counsel: It is quite immaterial what the name of this court is!

Chrysler: Then perhaps it is immaterial if Chrysler is really my name.

Counsel: No, not really, you see because…

Judge: Mr Lovelace?

Counsel: Yes, m’lud?

Judge: I think Mr Chrysler is running rings round you already. I would try a new line of attack if I were you.

Counsel: Thank you, m’lud.

You’ll want to read it all. H/T Gabriel Malor’s Twitter Feed

UPDATE: Well, dammit, it’s too good to be true!. But that doesn’t keep it from being brilliant. And I guess Joseph Heller could write it! :-) A case of working too fast and wanting to believe! That’s okay, I wear my eggs well!

About Elizabeth Scalia
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  • shana

    As I was reading that I was thinking of Rumpole of the Bailey. I love those stories, and even more loved the old PBS “Mystery!” episodes with Leo McKern.

    It sounds like Claude Erskine-Brown trying to question one of Rumpole’s clients.

  • kelleyb

    Over easy or scrambled? My eggery is usually poached…with a dab of butter.

  • Quaestor

    And remember Erskine-Brown became a QC. This guy seems rightly qualified for the honor, if he’s not wearing silk already.

  • Ben Hartley

    Go to the specified site (get the cited site in sight) and read the whole thing! It gets better!

  • cathyf

    I second Ben’s advice. He and Iowahawk would certainly have enjoyed a pint!