Welcome to my Breakdown – UPDATED

That’s a song by Alice Cooper, right? Or lyrics?

Actually I have another song, “Mama’s Got a Squeezebox” in my head, but the words are “Mama’s got a Burn Out…”

The details aren’t important,
but I somehow managed to commit myself to several different, rather big, projects whose deadlines all fell between last Thursday and today. Actually, the big commitments end on Thursday, after I speak at a parish in New Jersey on Wednesday night (oh, by the way, I’ll be speaking at Holy Cross Church, in Rumson, New Jersey on Wednesday night, directly after the Vigil Mass for the Solemnity. If you’re going to be in the nabe, swing over!)

But today was the killer day, and when I managed to meet the last two deadlines and do a few other things, I decided to take a nap. I had the most wonderful dream, about my older son (Kitty’s fiancee, who has been under so much pressure lately). He was about five, and dragging me to a store to show me what he really, really wanted for Christmas! Typically, it was something very small that I didn’t wholly understand, but I wanted to get it for him. Throughout the dream, however, I heard and “saw” a beautiful song — one that seemed familiar to me — a mother’s song to her son, about how she has been imperfect and regretful, but he has always been her beloved angel.

Well, it turns out, I didn’t know the song
— I lost it the instant I awoke. And I awoke weeping, just on a sentimental overload, which is something that has never happened to me. I texted my son about it and of course, closed with “I love you.”

And then I worried that he’d be calling back, saying, “are you alright? Are you working too hard? Because this sounds nuts!”

But he didn’t. Instead he sent me an email, said the text was very sweet, but also, in light of this, just a tad spooky. With the dream text, I checked off yet one more category. If we had a Janie in our family, we’d both be worried!

Turns out,
I’m apparently quite, quite normal for a mother!

UPDATE: In a very different stage of parenting, Pat Archbold writes a wonderful piece about playing Barbies with his kids.

About Elizabeth Scalia
  • http://www.hermitofbardstown.com Stephen Taylor

    Very touching post. You do know the song in your dream, your soul knows it. Praying for you.

  • Greta

    Good post. I had a dream the other day and the song stuck in my head and won’t leave. Black Magic Woman by Santana. I would gladly trade anyone.

    “I got a Black Magic Woman.
    I got a Black Magic Woman.
    Yes, I got a Black Magic Woman,
    She’s got me so blind I can’t see;
    But she’s a Black Magic Woman and
    she’s trying to make a devil out of me.”

    At Euchrist devotion today I asked God if He was trying to tell me something and all I got was the second verse…

    “Don’t turn your back on me, baby.
    Don’t turn your back on me, baby.
    Yes, don’t turn your back on me, baby,
    Don’t mess around with your tricks;
    Don’t turn your back on me, baby,
    ’cause you might just wake up my magic sticks.”

    Now you have to understand that at my age of 77, I did not even know anything about this song or the group and only found out by asking my kids who knew it as soon as I started to sing it (my singing ability is another story. My kids became very good at naming that tune with one or two notes to stop the pain). And I had the song word for word, even the melody if that is what you call it. Battling cancer and age, it gets a little weird when something like this happens.

    So today I had a chat with one of the young novices at church after devotions and he suggested it was Jesus mother Mary trying to tell me something and I should spend some time with my rosary mediating on the words and their meaning. So now off to do just that…

    “You got your spell on me, baby.
    You got your spell on me, baby.
    Yes, you got your spell on me, baby,
    Turnin’ my heart into stone;
    I need you so bad,
    Magic Woman I can’t leave you alone.”

  • Tim

    I know this doesn’t contribute anything to your post, but I believe “fiance” is used when talking about males, and “fiancee” used when talking about females. When I saw that, it gave me flashbacks to my college Russian professor yelling at me for mixing up the two.

    I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing I learned in college, and I had to share it. Plus, that’s something else for which you can call your son.

  • Ellen

    I think the Alice Cooper song is Welcome to my Nightmare. I get songs stuck in my head too, usually when I am trying to pray the rosary. Sometimes they are appropriate, sometimes not. I just keep on praying anyway.

    BTW, have you got your patron saint for the year yet? I decided to let my saint choose me on the first Sunday of Advent since it’s the beginning of the liturgical year. I was chosen by Bl. Miguel Agustin Pro. And the more I find out about him, the more I marvel at his holiness and sheer audacity. Viva Cristo Rey!!

  • Kathleen

    Have a good time in NJ and wave to me as you drive across the “Forgotten Borough”.

  • Melody

    Good post, I love the picture. I can identify with the dreams thing. Usually if I dream about a baby, someone in the family gets pregant soon. But I’m not very good at predicting the sex.