No sacrifice is a good sacrifice

Dear Dissonance,A little bit more on pregnancy. One thing I hate about it is that it blows holes in everything that we tirelessly work for each day. On top of that list is shaping a worldview that totally revolves around self.In this mission modern culture could not be more helpful. Doing what you want when you want to -- and forcing others to celebrate or even pay for your choices regardless of merit might as well be the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Whether it’s the people w … [Read more...]

Pregnancy Primer

Dear Dissonance,Take a deep breath. We knew a baby could happen, the timing is just sooner than anticipated. Granted, it would have been much better if the first pregnancy didn’t arrive until at least a couple years after their marriage as it would have guaranteed fewer children given their age. But we will work with what we have to.The goal should be to stop them at one child. Not because there is any perfect number of children in Our Father’s mind, but because He wants them to be seen, … [Read more...]

The secret of our power

Dear Dissonance,I think your Patient is on to us, or at least to you, given what you’ve written. This is bad for a number of reasons.First and perhaps most disastrous for us,  it means she is in closer contact with the Enemy as she would not recognize our actions unless it had something to do with what she told him or who she is becoming. It probably has something to do with your tactics, which are to subtle the same way as “The Today Show” is to news.Why, for example, would you make … [Read more...]

The wedding

Dear Dissonance,Have you noticed how so many women who are engaged focus more on preparing for their wedding than for their marriage?It’s strange, because normally very rational people elevate the decision between wearing a Vera Wang or Monique Lhuillier dress to the level of picking a college and act as if securing a profile in the women’s sports pages, AKA, The New York Times “Vows” section, were as important as being able to make a down payment on a house. They also believe without que … [Read more...]

Living separate lives

Dear Dissonance,I am really glad to hear that your Patient thinks of her conversion as a done deal, as if faith were like purchasing a house: difficult to fathom the cost at first, and a series of tradeoffs between aspects she likes and dislikes, but a contract completed with her signature, not to be revisited until sale.You really don’t want her to think of it as something she must wrestle with on a daily basis or integrate into her habits or how she treats her soon-to-be-spouse. What i … [Read more...]

The Devil is not in the details

Dear Dissonance,Thank you for sharing the heartwarming news that your Patient and her fiance had a blow out argument over the quantity of water in Atlanta and whether further growth should be encouraged or discouraged because of the potential for draught even though neither one has lived there nor has plans to move there! The fact that it ended up with her telling him she would never vote for him if he ran for office is even better!You need to keep encouraging her to think that … [Read more...]

Money for dummies

Dear Dissonance,Since we are going through a little pre-marriage counseling, let’s talk money.You shouldn’t worry so much about whether your Patient and her soon-to-be husband have it or not. Being without it or having an abundance of it is only important in so far as it dictates our tactics. One or the other isn’t fundamentally good or bad in the eyes of Our Father – or the Enemy for that matter. It is the person’s relationship to money that matters.Obviously, there are fundamental b … [Read more...]

The importance of keeping score

Dear Dissonance,I’m glad we got that little conflict between the two of us out of the way so that we can get back to focusing on your Patient.Breaking up a relationship or inflicting great blows to it is really quite formulaic. Once you memorize a few steps and start practicing them, you will be sure to find immediate success. What makes me particularly optimistic in your case is that both your patient and her soon-to-be husband are not young. This means they are set in their ways, which … [Read more...]