What I will Teach my Children After Sandy Hook

I have a new post on theatlantic.com that discusses the tragedy in Newtown last week and how I hope to respond when it comes to my own children. In the post, I mention my pastor’s sermon on Sunday. It was an excellent, timely, and incredibly helpful sermon for me. So before I get to the post, please consider taking 15 minutes to listen: Between Two Worlds. The post itself begins:

I volunteered in my daughter Penny’s first grade classroom on Monday. The simple act of pushing the buzzer and entering the brightly lit hallway brought tears to my eyes. This is what a school should be, I thought, a safe, happy, colorful place, where it doesn’t cross kids’ minds to be afraid. We live 20 miles away from Newtown, and Penny’s class consists of 23 six-and seven-year olds. That aching sadness that began in the main hallway persisted in the midst of the rambunctious cheer of her classroom. The students worked to create a wreath out of puzzle pieces in anticipation of the upcoming holiday. And as I supervised gluing and coloring, I hated the thought of the kids who weren’t able to bring home wreaths to their parents this year.

I had wondered over the weekend if I should talk to Penny about the shooting at Sandy Hook. I didn’t want her to hear the news from her classmates, especially if it might include brutal and frightening details. We kept the television off, which is not unusual for our family, and I turned off the radio whenever the reports headed toward details of the murders. I knew my younger children—ages two and four—probably wouldn’t hear about it from friends, but I still thought I should prepare Penny, even if just a little bit. I finally told her, “Something sad happened to some children at a school nearby.”

Her face got serious as she asked, “Who?”

I said, “No one you know.”

That was enough for her. Her world consists of people she knows, and if they are safe and happy, then so is she. I told her that if she heard more at school she should talk to a grownup. But when I asked her teachers, they said Friday’s events hadn’t come up in class that day. It was noon by then, and they were confident that they would have heard about it already if it was going to become a topic of conversation. “These parents did a good job protecting their children,” Penny’s teacher said.

Keep reading “The Importance of Teaching Children Kindness at a Very Young Age.”

About Amy Julia Becker

Amy Julia Becker writes and speaks about family, faith, disability, and culture. A graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary, she is the author of Penelope Ayers: A Memoir, A Good and Perfect Gift (Bethany House), and Why I Am Both Spiritual and Religious (Patheos Press).

Comments

  1. Tim says:

    Great article at the Atlantic, AJ.

    I heard a friend once describe how he sent his daughters into school when he dropped them off each morning: “Love God, love others!” He also told them, “Go for Cs!” He was a lot more concerned with how they treated others than with whether they were meeting expectations of academic or social success.

    For our kids, as they grew up I constantly prayed that at school they’d see people’s needs and a way to help them, and then act. They seem to be doing OK in that regard now as young adults.

    Thanks for guiding me in these thoughts, AJ.

    Tim


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