Should Christian Men Call Their Wives “Smokin’ Hot”?

I just wrote my first piece for the CBMW Men’s blog, Manual (see the brand-new Twitter feed here). It’s an interaction with the fairly common practice among younger evangelical men of saying that their wives are “hot” or, if you’re really going all out, “smoking hot.”

Below is an excerpt. I try to pull out the helpful and less-helpful in this conversation:

[F]or one man to take a decided, indeed lifelong, interest in one woman is a grand and holy reality. Adam seemed to exult in Eve when the Lord brought her to him, exclaiming “This at last is bone of my bones, and my flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23, emphasis mine). Whatever else we hear there, I think we should hear delight. The Lord designed Eve in such a way as to captivate Adam. Science backs this up; men are on average far more visual in their sexual interest than women. When you hear a young gun refer to his wife as “smoking hot,” my guess is that he is saying, in modern parlance, “at last.”

All this we want to celebrate. Again, Song of Songs clearly shows that it is good for a husband to intensely desire his wife. This isn’t shame-worthy. It’s glorious for men to put lust to death and direct their affection to just one woman. This is the Christic reality that marriage images—one man pursuing and loving one woman. Many of the young guys who use “smoking hot” terminology were saved from lust-driven lives. They see and even remember what they could be. They could be preying upon women, using them physically only to cast them aside, like you hear in Lil’ Wayne songs. Instead, they’re holding Bible studies with their wives. 

Read the whole thing. 

(Hey, by the way, on a related subject, this piece encouraging men to marry young (talk about counter-cultural thinking!) is excellent. From the Marriage Generation blog, which I encourage you to check out. And while you’re at it, if you’re a young person, read and sign the statement–it will, I think, be an encouragement to you!)


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