Breaking the Impasse: Introducing “Dateship”

Having examined courtship and dating, and having seen each system lacking in some way, it’s time to propose another onramp to the highway of sanctified love.Here’s my solution: combine the two. I noted a few days back that the great weakness of courtship is that has a tendency to stunt relational growth between two people. It has a way of removing the nitty and gritty of life and making romance a matter of predetermined, polite, and often frustrating encounters in… Read more

Evaluating Dating

If the problem of courtship is that it has a tendency to stifle normal romantic interaction between the opposite sexes, the problem of dating is that it allows too much. Courtship, if anything, is careful. Dating, as practiced by many Christians, seems without any set structure, any means by which two people thoughtfully think through their relationship and its bigger implications.This is a big reason for the rise of courtship in certain Christian circles. Many Christians have been alarmed at… Read more

Evaluating Courtship

Having surveyed the basic scheme of both courtship and dating, it’s time to evaluate both systems by the light of critical reasoning and personal experience. We start with courtship.Courtship is in many ways an excellent answer to the romantic malpractice of the culture. It’s no mystery that the world has gone mad in the area of love. All rules are out; no holds are barred; all bets are off when it comes to dating as today’s America does it. Marriage… Read more

Christian Romance: Courtship or Dating?

I’m currently making an effort at outlining and evaluating the two main systems of Christian romance: courtship and dating. I think I did an okay job on courtship, but have had a bit of a harder time on dating as Christians do it. This seems to be because there is more of a prescribed order to courtship, while dating is more nebulous and free-flowing. Today, we’ll take a bit more time to compare and contrast the two systems. Tomorrow, the… Read more

The Strange World of Christian Romance, Part 2

I promised an evaluation of courtship yesterday but have decided to hold off on that for a day. Because I first defined courtship, I now want to define the Christian understanding of dating. Please note that this is my own version of dating and that other renditions do exist. What I am about to offer is merely one take on the matter, though it has been developed from conversations with others.Christian dating may in fact look quite a bit like… Read more

The Strange World of Christian Romance

I’m not sure how many non-Christians read this blog, but those who are not familiar with the evangelical subculture of America will find its attempts at romance rather fascinating. In the culture at large, people seem to come together through a variety of means–on-and-off dating, meeting at parties, living together, being part of a group of friends/dating friends, and so on. The evangelical world, or the conservative evangelical world to which I belong, offers two main systems through which romance… Read more

What a Mother Means to a Son: the Orderer

Mothers bring more to their sons than nurture and affection. They also bring order to their son’s lives. Think for a moment about everything that Mom teaches her son to do in an orderly fashion. She washes and folds his laundry, helps him brush his teeth, teaches him to use the bathroom, makes him wash his grubby little hands, disciplines him when he does wrong, regulates his tv watching time, directs his daily napping, makes him healthy lunches, supervises his… Read more

What a Mother Means to a Son: the Tender One

Fathers must teach their boys much. Their love must be strong, for example, yet not without tenderness. Though they must exhibit this quality, it is from his mother that a boy must learn gentleness and tenderness. Without such lessons, he will not fulfill well his calling to love his future wife. He will grow up and be strong and responsible, but he will lack the gentle love that a woman must have in a relationship. Contrary to what action films… Read more

What a Mother Means to a Son: the Nurturer (2)

It is very difficult for women to end the nourishing relationship. One can see why when one considers the pattern of care for her boy that begins in the womb and continues for almost two decades of her son’s life. There are points, though, at which Mom must accept a change in the special connection she has with her son. It need not disappear, but it will change when the boy begins to grow. He must then spend time with… Read more

What a Mother Means to Her Son: the Nurturer (1)

Today we pick back up the series on what the family means to a boy by looking at what a mother means to her son. I’ve already explored in brief what a father means to a boy. Now it’s time to look at what a mother means to her son.A mother is first of all a nurturer for her son. The nurturing relationship expresses itself in two important ways. First, mother and son are connected physically in a way that… Read more

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