Why, Colbert, Why?

“Dear Stephen, Please have my Daddy on your show!”


Every week I receive a “publicity report” from Kelly Hughes, the best in the business.  She’s been in contact with scores of journalists over the past three months, telling them about my book and trying to interest them in doing a story on it.  Between the Democratic primaries and the Pope, there hasn’t been a lot of leeway in the media for “trends in religion” stories, which is how my book is generally categorized by journalists.  But she’s still gotten the book a lot of great notice.

Well, in the report this week, I got the worst news of all.  The Colbert Report said “no” to having me on.  Sure, it was a long shot, but my kids were praying every night that I’d get on Colbert. 

Charlie Rose?  Who cares.  Tavis Smiley?  I’m too busy.  Bill O’Reilly?  Not interested.

But Colbert?  He’s my hero.  I watch every night.  I dream about him.  I study his interviews.

So, my atheism increases.  I’m melting my Wrist Strong bracelet down.  I’m adopting a bear cub.  I’m giving Colbert a wag of my finger…and he knows which finger.

Why, Colbert, Why?!?!?!?

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  • something has to be done.

  • annie

    tavis smiley is one seriously dull hour.

  • carla jo

    he had Anne Lamott on. Maybe it’s time for dreads.

  • Stephen refuses to have on a guest who denies the conspiracy that saw scientists plant fossils in the ground as a way of detering belief in God.

    Stephen is a true patriot. ‘Nuff said.

  • What about John Stewart and the Daily Show? I could see you on that show… (I like Colbert, too, but the Daily Show is still the original, and you could really rock that show!)

  • i cried a little just now. man, that sucks.

  • WWSD? Don’t take no for an answer! Of course, on the bright side, you get to hold onto your first born.

  • Isn’t there some sort of grassroots thing we can do to get you on the show? If Tony Jones was on the Colbert Report, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. We gotta make this happen.

  • Tony, my suggestion is to write to him and tell him that you have been rejected by many qualified shows/hosts, all of whom have impressive credentials, but it is simply impossible for you to accept all of them. Tell, him that, unfortunately, as strong a candidate as his show is you are unable to accept his rejection and will, therefore, see him on May 9th at noon. Try that.

  • Jessica

    I was just wondering…. Are you a Republican, Democrat, Independent, …. ?

  • i am insisting this happen!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am putting this request on my church’s prayer request board. this is going to happen. he can have anne lamont, but not tony jones? this is an outrage.

    colbert nation you need tony jones on your show. send him a free copy of your book. he said he likes receiving free things.

  • Tell him you have connections to President Bush and you will arrange a hot dog lunch for the two of them if you can get on his show.

    On a side note, aren’t you glad this is labeled a “trend”? Perhaps lots of money can be made!

  • I’m pretty sure that Kevin’s suggest would work. Anyone original enough to say that you cannot accept his rejection and that you will meet him on May 9 at Noon deserves some time. For the love of God he had Tony Campolo on and you can be way funnier than him!