“The hair of the chin showed him to be a man.” -Saint Clement of Alexandria (c.195)
I’ve been growing my beard since August and, while I doubt that anyone in my family will be giving me a book on beards or any beard care essentials for Christmas, I do think that it’s about time to shape my beard. Above, you can see a picture of the beard in its current state. I’d like your help in deciding how to shape it for Christmas.
I’ve had a funky beard before. In the summer of 2008, for the Church Basement Roadshow, I shaved my beard into the Friendly Mutton Chops. For the hirsute ignorant, when mutton chops are connected by a mustache, it makes them friendly. This is what that looked like:
I’m tempted to go with the Friendly Mutton Chops again. I know it well, and it’d be nice and comfortable. But, there may be reasons to go in another direction. For one, I’ve been reading up on bears and the conventional wisdom is that someone with a rounder face (guilty!) should tend toward a beard with clean cheeks and longer chin whiskers. And secondly, my sideburns are the wispiest area of growth, so it seems I should lean into my strengths, which include the mustache and chin.
Below are some choices, including the Hollywoodian, which Mark Scandrette wore on the Church Basement Roadshow. (I think Doug Pagitt attempted to grow some kind of facial hair, but I don’t seem to recall him being successful in that regard.)
I’m running a poll on my Facebook Page. Go there to vote.
As a bonus for those of you who are muttons for punishment, here’s the video of Doug and me losing our beards at the end of the Roadshow: