Announcing, for your intellectual exercise, the First Annual Obamara Limerick Contest. Here’s my entry. The reasoning behind it is this: to skewer the colossal silliness of the Obamalators, those hapless secular people who just had to believe in somebody, anybody, and who therefore said that the Lord Obama would change the history of the world, would mark a transformation in the universe, would settle the levels of the oceans (well, Lord Obama himself said that), would be more significant than the Incarnation of Christ, and so forth. They made me think of that dime-a-dozen political hack, Chester Alan Arthur, who surprised everybody when he made it to the White House, in that he was actually more or less honest. Nobody mistook Chester Alan Arthur for a messiah. But we live in a time when people mistake Milus Cyrey, or Cyrus Miley, or whatever her name is, for an entertainer, and Lady Gaga for a human being….
He was born, so they say, in Hawaiah,
The land of the pimp and papaya.
But he sure ain’t no yahoo,
Our boy from Oahu,
All-wise and all-wondrous Messiah!
In college he saw that his classes
Were stuffed full of idjits and asses.
We know this is true, for
We have a sure proof, for
He never shows up, but he passes!
Wherever he goes, the girls follow,
Their knee-bones all wobbly and hollow.
“He smiles and we squirm, he’s
A regular Hermes,
A Pan, a Poseidon, a Pollo!”
His election was not accidental.
The chicks said, “He’s so presidential!
What else should we pray for?
Our Barry will pay for
Our dental and mental and rental.”
His patter so perfectly pleases,
The Danes say, “He’s better than Jesus!
No need to confess — you
Just say, ‘Barry bless you’
When somebody wheezes or sneezes.”
And says he’s just human, and pisses —
Except at the potty
He’s often so haughty
He pays no attention, and misses.
He finds out what hearts are sincerest,
What wallets are richest and nearest,
And graciously showers
On all of his dumbest and dearest.
The people desired that he lead ’em,
And heal ’em and teach ’em and feed ’em.
And what could be finer
In laws, or diviner
Than sign ’em and never to read ’em?
He claimed to be national medic,
To cure every cancer and headache.
“There’s no need to splurge on
A nurse and a surgeon —
We’ll carve you without anaesthetic!”
The federal porker? He fed it!
Got fatter and fatter? He let it!
“Our prospects are sunny.
This pig never runs out of credit.”
Constitutions are apt to grow hoary,
But Barry raised ours to new glory.
When necessity calls
It’s for use in the stalls,
A priori et posteriori.