Unforgiveness Holds You Back

Yes, Unforgiveness Holds You Back

Unforgiveness holds you back.  But forgiveness sets you free.  And you will remain shackled to the one who harmed you when you seek justice or want to get even. Matthew 5:44, states,  “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” 

So, victims have a tough time with this rule.

Getting even has never changed anything for the better.  “Victim consciousness” triggers The Universal of Resistance.  It means “What you resist – persists.”

And on some level the person believes they deserved to be victimized.  They believe that somehow the abuse was their fault.

A Victim’s Father Chose Justice

Years ago, a woman who was killed in her home by an intruder was big news for days. The police believe she caught the intruder trying to rob her. Eventually the police indicted her husband for murder, stating that he hired a hit man to kill her.

The day of the trial, her grieving father waited on the courthouse steps. He saw the husband being led into the courtroom to stand trial. And then he stepped forward and shot him dead. He yelled as he pulled the trigger, “This is justice for my daughter that you killed!”

Tragically, the Husband was Innocent

Tragically, the police eventually discovered that the husband was innocent. They picked up a burglar whose stash of stolen goods included some of this woman’s jewelry. So, the grieving father who must now deal with the guilt of killing an innocent man.

So, we can all understand why the grieving father sought justice, instead of forgiveness. Yet, two wrongs don’t make a right.

And perhaps the grieving father felt guilty for not protecting his daughter,. And he decided he could at least eliminate some of that guilt by avenging her death.  Unfortunately, with a tragic outcome.

Unforgiveness Holds You Back and Can Affect Your Entire Life

My friend John, now in his 70s, shared a secret. He was sexually abused as a child by a family member.  And he admitted he could not forgive this person. His inability to forgive that family member has affected his whole life.  He sheepishly admits a life of strife, anger, and tribulation.

Last year he had a heart attack, and ended up having a Near Death Experience.

He Had a Near Death Experience

So, he left his body and traveled down a tunnel to a bright light that carried him to The Other Side. A kind man in a long white robe smiled at him upon his arrival. He motioned for him to follow as he walked toward a magnificent Greek-style building.

And walking into the room with the guide, he was instructed to sit in a chair.  He gazed up at a large screen in front of him. And he was gently guided through a Life Review (something we all experience when we return Home).

What He Saw Shocked Him

A list of challenges that HE created before incarnating into Planet Earth was shown to him. And he was shocked to see that being sexually abused as a child was something he had written into his script!

He asked why he would have done that. And his wonderful, loving Guides explained that he wanted to learn True Forgiveness. Forgiveness that came from something that was an unforgivable act.

Forgiving Doesn’t Condone the Abuse

So, they explained to him that forgiving this person doesn’t condone the act of abuse. The key is to see that soul as pure and perfect, the way God sees him. And, as a result, allow him to forgive this man for his actions.

And it was revealed to him that the relative who sexually abused him had also been sexually abused when he was a child.  (This is something that happens quite often). So, by forgiving him, and seeing him as the innocent, perfect soul that God sees, it would also release this man from his personal self-hatred for what he did.

This Experience Changed His Life

When he shared this story with me, he said that this experience changed his life. He just wished he had chosen forgiveness sooner. His anger and hatred affected every relationship he had, causing him and his loved ones much heartache.

You Who Were Victimized Don’t Need to Get Even

Hopefully this will help those of you who have been victimized understand that you don’t need to get even. The person who abused you is living in their own hell, even if they aren’t aware of it. So, by showing them love and compassion, you rise to a higher level of soul growth. Plus, you free yourself to make huge leaps in spiritual development.

Or you can remain a victim, and continue to live a life of pain and suffering. It’s your choice.