How You Can Stop the Cycle of Fatherlessness

How You Can Stop the Cycle of Fatherlessness December 20, 2013

A ton of research shows that children from fatherless homes fare worse in life than their fathered counterparts.  And like with most children, fatherless kids tend to imitate the examples that were modeled for them while growing up.  Hence, much like addictions, or abuse–abandonment is emulated as well and ends up creating generational cycles that are passed down from one generation to the next.

Fatherless boys tend to follow in the footsteps modeled for them, perpetuating fatherlessness onto future generations.  Here is a fairly simple illustration of just one way this cycle manifests itself using very broad generalizations.

When boys are raised only by women they grow up learning the communication style of women.  They use more words, they speak emotionally, and they tend to chatter or ramble on—giving more details without getting to the point.  They communicate in the style of women.

This then makes men and other boys uncomfortable, causing them to shy away, which isolates the boy from the world of men even further.

But the one thing these boys have learned is how to speak the language of women.  Because words mean a great deal to women, men who know how to speak their language have an advantage in that they can more easily manipulate them.  Women tend to draw intimacy with lovers through verbal communication.  Females are wired to respond to verbal and non-sexual affection with sexual affection.  And so, especially for fatherless girls who are starved for masculine affection, they are more easily impressed and more quickly develop intimate feelings with these males who can speak their language.  This frequently results in them becoming pregnant (imitating what their single mothers modeled for them).  The boys, frightened by the huge responsibility parenthood imposes upon them, imitate what was modeled for them by the most important males in their lives.  They leave—perpetuating the cycle of fatherlessness again onto the next generation.

This all happens on an unconscious level as these populations (as with most of us) are seldom aware of the motivations behind their decision-making process.

Men, if your son (or daughter) does not live with you, they still desperately need you in their life.  Study after study shows that the importance of fathers (especially in the lives of teenagers) is undeniable.  Even if your children do live under your roof, there are hundreds, maybe thousands of fatherless boys within a stone’s throw who need you in their lives.

Question: Are you using your power as a man to make a difference in the lives of the fatherless?  Join our discussion at

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