“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Marcus Aurelius “If your mind can be calm, clear and bright, the environment will be affected and transformed. To change the environment, use your mind…” -Zen Master Sheng-Yen The successful mastery of one’s minds and perceptions is the single greatest skill. Without... Read more
I work with people who, often unknowingly, spend nearly all of their energy trying to live up to someone else’s image of who they ought to be. There are two primary outcomes: failure and resentment. Going against your true self to be what someone else wants is monumentally challenging and rarely successful. If you do manage to achieve the false image, in time the ache of your truth and opportunities lost, will breed resentment of whomever is trying to get... Read more
When you think you know everything about a situation, especially a challenging situation, open up to possibility. The act of opening up to possibility opens up the floodgates of life. It’s easy to fall into mental patterns and assume we know all there is to know about a situation and are able to predict every outcome. The truth is there are countless perspectives to view a situation from and we never know all there is to know. Believing otherwise is... Read more
Welcome to the final installment of the Detoxing the Mind Series. We’ve identified toxic beliefs & fears in Detoxing the Mind. We looked at permanently dissolving fears and erroneous beliefs by proving their falsehood. We began the process of fortifying ourselves and moving toward detoxing limiting beliefs and fears. In this final installment, we continue the inner work required to reduce, release and, ideally, replace toxic thoughts. A belief is only a thought repeatedly reinforced. Instead of allowing our minds... Read more
The Inner Work Becoming aware of the fears and beliefs that shape our lives is a tremendous first step on the path to freedom from self limitation. Once we’ve identified hindering beliefs and fears, we can work toward reducing, revising or, ideally, replacing them with empowering beliefs that serve to speed us along the path to our heart’s desires. Sometimes, as is often the case with fears, we can move into the fear and, by doing what we were afraid... Read more
If you’ve read part one and two of Detoxing the Mind, you’ve probably identified some hindering beliefs and fears about you and life. Take some time to reflect on how these beliefs shape your experiences. Life mirrors beliefs. Every negative, fear-based belief we hold influences our choices. It is natural to turn away from discomfort to avoid whatever stands between us and our desires, but when we resolve to confront our false beliefs, we may discover that they dissipate. At one point in my... Read more
As I mentioned in part one, the things standing between you and your heart’s desires are your beliefs. In response, I received an email stating that some desires cannot be attained regardless of beliefs. Based on the writer’s examples, I agree. If your “desire” is to be Brad Pitt’s next wife, it’s not likely, though stranger things have happened. The key distinction is that ego-based, spur of the moment, “that would be cool” cravings are not heart’s desires. The desires of the heart, the deepest, truest... Read more
Mental toxins, the weight of the past and fears not tied to facts can sabotage every attempt at success and happiness. Because they “live” inside of us, we believe they are us. In truth, they are the beliefs, negative thoughts and conclusions we’ve drawn from people and experiences. Many of our beliefs slipped into our unguarded minds when we were children. Finding the source of the belief is less important than identifying it. Once a hindering thought is exposed to... Read more
Early in my career, my employer sent me to seminar on the psychology of selling. In essence, it was a course in manipulation. In words that made the act sound positive, we were taught to instill fearful beliefs in our customers so they, in an effort to end their discomfort, would buy our products. Before we whipped them into a frenzy of insecurity, we garnered their trust by putting them on a pedestal. The formula was simple, tremendously effective and... Read more
I found an exercise from a class I took years ago. The assignment was to answer the following questions: 1) What are the true desires of your heart (the ones that endure & create a feeling of expansion)? 2) What stands between you and your desires? 3) What are the most important relationships in your life? 4) What do you believe that isn’t true? I blazed through questions 1-3. I knew what my heart’s desires were and I thought knew... Read more
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