The F Word: Faith

The F Word: Faith June 5, 2014

Image Copyright: Igor Stevanovic

Have you ever had an experience where life bends over backward to get you to grow?

I’m experiencing this now.

I’m super-analytical, logical, and grounded. When challenged, I think, and think, and then think some more. I futurize and foresee every possible outcome, often in ways that feel like they’re happening in the present.

I challenge the experts, second guess authority, and review every decision the professionals make. I take control and endeavor to create the outcome I desire using creative, streamlined, independent, and box-less thinking.

As a result, I’m immune to many problems that would shake other people. I know what I’m capable of and I feel confident in my abilities. I own my power. If a life-problem is humanly solvable, I count myself among the most capable and likely to solve it. If a door is closed, I’ll find a window.

In light of the foregoing, it makes perfect sense that life—the soul-school that it is—would present me with circumstances that render my powers impotent. For the second time in my life, I’m immersed in a heart-clutching challenge that is, at best, minor-ly impacted by my strengths.

I asked life what attributes or qualities would help me to master this challenge. Where do I need to grow? What am I to learn or develop from this?

After weeks of ducking, dodging, and side-stepping the answer, it finally cornered me.

First, I saw it in an old journal. I dismissed it. Then, I opened a book to the same page 3 times in a row with a message about it. I tucked the book away. Later, while looking for something else, I found a card about it. Next, I received an email about it, saw it spray-painted on a bench, and heard it in a song that I haven’t listened to in more than ten years.

Should I have gotten the point by then? Probably. I didn’t really want to get it.

Finally, Melanie Brown called me. You may remember Melanie from my Hay House Radio Show. Melanie is an astrologer with a degree in Jungian psychology and a passion for teaching about the divine feminine. I was eager to catch up with her. Within a few moments she brought up the one thing I don’t like talking with her about: my north and south nodes.

If you don’t know what the nodes are, here’s a quote from cafeastrology:

“The Nodes of the Moon represent points of personal karmic imbalance. The North Node represents the kinds of experiences that we must work to develop in order to work with our karma, and to grow spiritually. The South Node represents those experiences and qualities that come naturally to us, that are over-developed, and that we tend to fall back on. The South Node can be a point of undoing unless we develop the North Node experiences and qualities. Thus, consciously working on these “life lessons” can bring us to increased happiness and fulfillment. If we over-emphasize and fall back on the qualities of our South Node, at the expense of developing our North Node, we may have a difficult time feeling personally successful.”

Some astrologers believe the north/south nodes are the single most important aspect of your chart.

I’m naturally skeptical about astrology, often believing more in my power than the cosmos’. And that’s exactly what my nodal challenge is about.

I have a Virgo south node that relies on grounded, analytical, and logical reasoning. I seek to turn the planet with my own hands. That’s my comfort zone—my overexpressed, fallback stance. On the opposite end of the spectrum is my north node—my growing edge and soul-lesson for this life. It’s in Pisces and my life’s greatest personal work is to learn to have FAITH (I finally said it).

Faith. (sigh)

Life has presented me with a situation that I cannot solve or fix with my personal powers. My strengths are insufficient and I am faced with my greatest challenge: to give it to God.

The mantra:

I accept. I surrender the illusion of control, I release this situation to Divine Love and embrace the infinite intelligence of Creation. I let go and rest in faith. All is well.


I’m growing.

~ Cynthia

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