What Matters

What Matters July 11, 2012

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I sat in the waiting room. All I wanted to do was think of anything other than my dad lying in the emergency room, trauma area, awaiting the results. Was it a heart attack or wasn’t it? The daytime talk show blasting on the waiting room television only grated on my nerves like a piece of sandpaper against my skin.  I went outside in hopes of clearing my thoughts and re-grounding my energy.  Sitting down on the bench I allowed the sun to burn away my negative thoughts and worries. A couple walked by, and ignoring the fact that other people were around, continued with their argument.

“I can’t believe you didn’t do the dishes again. Honestly, I am so tired of nagging you.”

“Then stop!” Her husband went to grab her hand and she only pulled away from him. He rolled his eyes, stuffed his hands in his pocket and they walked inside the hospital.

An argument over dirty dishes. Is that what matters?

A car horn blasting caught my attention. “Where did you learn how to drive? Ever hear of a turn signal?” The man screamed, flipping off the other driver.

An argument over a turn signal. Does that really matter in the long run?

I sighed. So much negativity.  I grabbed my phone out of my purse and clicked on Facebook where I thought reading my News Feed would take my mind off of everything.

“I hate my neighbor. They put their trash on my side of the driveway again.”

“My job is awful. I hate it”

“My ex screwed me over again!”

“The kids cannot stop acting up. When does school start again?”

And with each status I thought, in the long run does it really matter. If you were on your death bed, would those be your last thoughts? Sure, we all complain, we are all human (darnit!). Maybe it is social media helps us complain more. There are more people to listen to us vent and complain and either feed the negativity or just listen. But is it accentuating the negative? I think that it does and it can, but it can do the same for positive too. The balance of life. I thought of the young mother holding her baby in the room next to my dad. The one year old child had a seizure and was brought to the hospital via ambulance. I bet her last thought at that moment was how bad the kids were acting up. She would do anything to watch her child get into something. Or the woman that I saw crying in the chapel who lost her husband. She held on to his clothes and sobbed. I bet she would give anything to have dinner with him again and not care if the dishes were done or not. Or the husband that bowed his head over his wife who had just had a stroke and would be paralyzed for the rest of her life.

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.”

Audrey Hepburn

So I challenge you, as I do myself, to pay attention to all that matters and not all the nonsensical waste of energy that we spend on what doesn’t.  We would be so much more happy and so much more fulfilled. Next time someone cuts you off in traffic, give them the peace sign instead of the bird. When your spouse doesn’t do a chore, give them a hug and a compliment on all they have done instead of starting an argument. Take a situation that has been bothering you and find a solution or simply walk away from it rather than fester in the negative because more than not, it isn’t what really matters. And it can always be worse.






It was early morning and my dad was calling my name. I went into looks like we are going to hospital mode.

My dad wasn’t feeling right, but he couldn’t tell me what didn’t feel right. He had a feeling.

I too have been having ‘that feeling’ for awhile, but he had been going to the doctor and they kept saying he was okay. I still had the feeling. I woke up several times last night hearing him, restless (we live together).

The hospital went into trauma mode, recognizing the heart attack, even though I kept hoping it was the flu, or food poisoning, or gall bladder. Over twenty-five years ago my dad had quadruple bypass. We were told to say our goodbyes and he was given his last rites. And he survived.

Right now he is calmly resting in the hospital as we take a conservative role in the treatment (no surgery…yet), with aggressive medicine treatment.

Because of my family emergency, I am temporarily stopping Email Consultations and will not be as accessible on Faceobook, email or phone. I appreciate your patience.

And, if you have a spare prayer, an extra angel, or some happy vibes, my family and I would be ever so grateful.



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