“Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people…but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
Words can hurt, but it is hanging on to the words and painful moments that cause deep scars. Replaying it over and over, simple words, like a poltergeist haunting, become poison to your confidence, your self-esteem, and your soul. Grudges, bitterness, and a whole other array of negative emotions plays an unfair game with the mind and heart, and inevitably dreams, aspirations and future endeavors. It stops people from loving again, trying new things, and growing. Like a butterfly stuck in a mason jar, unable to experience the world, the more that you hold on to the grudge, the more you disassemble your life and your true purpose.
You can’t take that moment back when you felt broken, but you can un-program your mind from replaying that scene over and over and making those words your reality. Not erasing the experience, but moving through it and learning from it.
WRITE OUT YOUR RESENTMENTS
“Appreciation can change a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.”
Margaret Cousins
Take the time to write out your list of resentments. Yep, you heard me right – resentments. It could be that your biggest resentment is you, yourself. In order to make room for love and to be truly thankful you need to remove the hate. It could be that you might even need to email or call the person you are upset with and express your love. This doesn’t mean you have to forgive unacceptable behavior, but you don’t need to wrap that up and hold all negative emotions close. If you don’t like confrontation, or the person you are upset with has crossed over, simply take out a notepad and start writing. You can burn the letter, releasing the bitterness and sadness. As you watch the smoke rise, think about all the hurt and anger being carried away within the smoke. With each breath you take, you release your hurt and disappointment. It isn’t necessarily forgiving or accepting, it is removing the coal from your hand and your heart. Instead of feeling as if you are in pieces, feel the peace that comes from letting go, and it is then that you can see all that you have to be grateful for.
QUIET THE CHATTER AND BE
“Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit.”
Jeremy Taylor
I have a practice where every single day I sit in *quiet* for a few moments. Has your computer or phone ever acted weird and you either had to clean out or update some of the old applications or simply just shut the phone/computer off and do a re-start? We need to do the same thing with our souls or else we only feel static and we only hear white noise. Our bodies even signal the need to ‘BE’ as well with tension, headaches, sleep disorders, sinus infections, etc. And then the psyche follows with depression, sadness, confusion and even feeling a loss of life purpose are often a side effect of disallowing yourself to just BE. So often we just blame it on outside situations, but really we do it to ourselves by not living in the moment, something that sounds simple, but is so difficult, especially for those who are people pleasers and/or empaths/healers.
DIG DEEP and CREATE VISION
The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.
Helen Keller
Not sure what you want, but most all of us know what we don’t want. So open your computer screen to a blank page and start typing what you don’t want. And then go back to that and write out the positive to it. Such as – I don’t want partner who treats me poorly. Cross that off and replace it with – I want a partner that treats me with love and respect. As you continue down the line of items, your mind starts to switch over to the positive mind-set and reprograms to what you do want. This exercise stimulates the reticular activation system (RAS), an information filtering system in your brain. Once that image is held, you begin an inner Google system that searches for it.
I’ve used Vision Boards as part of my self-motivational practice for all of my life, but consciously for over 10 years. As little girls, we unknowingly created our vision boards with scrapbooks, posters on the wall, diaries, journals and stickers. You can create a vision board out of magazine cuttings and a poster board. You can use a digital site. You can add inspiring photos to your screensavers on your laptop, tablet and phone. You can also change your passwords to something motivational. The constant repetition helps to bind the vision of what you do want in your life.
ALIGN YOURSELF WITH YOUR TRIBE
“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.”
Edmund Lee
If you’re surrounded by negative people, then there’s a chance you’ll lose sight of your dreams. Now, there’s some situations that warrant realism, like at the work place, but in places that you do have control, it is important align yourself with your tribe and nurture the relationships that you want to nurture. Stop hanging out with negative people who don’t support your dreams and aspirations and only feed into your stress and worry. This also goes for those you encounter online (Twitter, Facebook, etc). You have every right to create boundaries and hit the Un-Friend or Block button.
Know that you deserve to dream and to have your dreams come true. Some assembly might be required, but you have all the tools you need!
Believe,
Kristy
www.kristyrobinett.com
Kristy Robinett is an intuitive, life coach and author of several books. She is a mom and wife who loves farmhouses, front porches, iced tea and old cemeteries. Find Kristy at www.kristyrobinett.com or on Facebook.
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