“They think that you’re too boring.”
“How do I even respond to that?” I thought, listening to feedback from a national network who was contemplating picking me up for a television series. Several years ago I would’ve been upset, been defensive and probably festered about it for weeks. Instead I laughed and replied with an authentic ‘thank you’. Not because I was happy they found me boring, but because I was comfortable with how I presented myself to them. It was me, and I couldn’t, nor would I do anything differently. What they saw was what they got, and if they saw boring, so be it.
I remember in 4th grade my parents were called into a teacher meeting because my writing was too tiny and the teacher was upset, so my mom asked if I would write larger. So I did, and my parents were called into another teacher meeting because my writing was too large (seriously, this was how horrible of a child I was). Then in 5th grade my parents were told that I was too shy, so I worked on becoming more outgoing, and later that year I was told that I was too chatty. When I got married I weighed 95 pounds and my then husband would complain that I was too bony and I needed to put on some weight, but when we divorced he said he was upset because after two kids and several miscarriages I was fat. There seems to be no winning with making anyone happy, is there? But do we really need to make them happy or do we need to look within and discover what makes us happy?
Isn’t it a funny thing how many people there are in this world who will never be satisfied and who will want to change you? And so many listen to them! And beat ourselves up over their opinions! Yet what really matters is whether we really think we need to change, not to benefit someone else, but ourselves. Sure, we all could use a tune-up in different areas, but it doesn’t mean that we need an overhaul, and never to try and satisfy another, because I’m telling you this right now – if you attempt to change what they aren’t happy with, they will find something else to critique, and then something else, and then something else and…well, you get it.
You are not responsible for another’s happiness. What you are responsible for is your own happiness and by being authentic and transparent, you may just scare off the people in your life who don’t like the ‘what you see is what you get’. Good! As a child we are taught to keep everyone happy, but this becomes an impossible and unrealistic burden to carry.
I often end my sessions with ‘remember to take care of yourself’. If you are spending so much time trying to make everyone happy, everyone will be happy but you. But if you work on nurturing the most important person in your life – YOU – the people who are meant to be in your life will be happy. It’s just that simple.
I believe in YOU!
Kristy Robinett is an intuitive, life coach and author of several books. She is a mom and wife who loves farmhouses, front porches, iced tea and old cemeteries. Find Kristy at www.kristyrobinett.com.