Holiness and Heartbreak

Holiness and Heartbreak November 16, 2014

What does it mean to be holy
I’ve been told it means to be set apart
Consecrated for divine purpose
You are special
But I wrestle with this
For the first time in my life I wish to be ordinary
Not set apart
Not exceptional
Just common
For in commonality lie things we can share
I want people to drink from my cup
And for me to sip from theirs
Because it is through this sweet communion that I see God

Oh God, I feel like I don’t fit the mold of a good Christian these days
maybe that’s ok
I am to be your reflection so conform my image to yours and help me not to base my walk on the journey someone else finds themselves on
I want to look like you
A print made from Masterpiece
Not reproduced from another copy

Connect me to your heartbreak
So that I will not hurt you in those ways
And if I have the privilege to share
Teach others to not be the causes of that sort of heartbreak for you either

I suppose this is a prayer
So God I ask that you
Honor the tears that accompany it
For they say things I have not yet found words for
And speak to the fullness of my heart
Because I love you
Not because you are my healer and deliverer
Or because you are alpha and omega
So ingrained in my being that I don’t always know where you stop and I begin
It’s because you are I Am
And I would exhaust speech before
I could try and define who you are to me

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