The Heart of a Mom and Ministry–Tik Tok Video #3

(Script for Video 3)

@dy0czm8581ex

The Heart of a Mom and Ministry–Neurodiverse and LBGTQIA+ Children and Their Families

♬ original sound – The Neuro-Catholic MamaBear

Hello, my name is Julie Nichols, and I am the Neuro-Catholic MamaBear.

Last time I spoke from the standpoint of a clinician, but today I speak from the heart of a mom, someone who is a lifetime person of faith, and someone who has served in Christian/Catholic ministry in one way or another throughout my adult life. I want to invite all moms and dads who are or who are not religious to join, but I feel that the spiritual component for the LBGTQIA+ issue in religious families is impossible to omit.

Currently outside of my pediatric specialty practice, I serve and participate in LBGTQIA+ ministry, both in the Catholic and broader Christian world.

1. The first is an ecumenical ministry called Freedhearts which is essentially a religious trauma recovery group for families who have LBGTQIA+ children coming from in conservative religious homes. The trauma involves experiences like suicide, families being ripped apart, and traumatic spiritual and psychological damage. When children come out LBGTQIA+ in conservative religious homes, their parents many times have to choose between their child’s right-to-life or stay in the Church. Nothing is more wrong than this. This first-hand experience in ministry is a direct reflection of current scientific truth, that parts of the Church have gravely mishandled LBGTQIA+ people and their families. I can tell you that this is the opposite of what the Church should be doing.  It should be a place of spiritual nourishment, community, family, love, charity, and moral guidance.   I say moral guidance as a framework of how to live and do what we are capable of doing, not as a noose to coerce, harm, and abuse which the Church in various areas has been guilty of throughout the years.  However, overall, I love the Church, and I love God.  I believe it has done a great deal of good more than bad, which is why I stay to help it reform and move forward.  I am a direct recipient of past spiritual abuse as well.

2. In my second ministry, I publish pieces for faith-based publishers like Patheos and Faith-on-View. I published one piece for the newest LBGQIA+ Catholic ministry called Outreach.

3. I now have these Tik Tok videos where I am getting the word out, that it is not only OK but necessary that parents, including parents of faith consider fully-accepting their LBGTQIA+ children. This does not mean that parents have to discard their beliefs on sexual ethics. What this means is that the lives, human dignity, and health depend on family acceptance of their child. I will give you the reasons.

Let me give you a few quotes from the top experts in the field of LBGTQIA+ research.  These quotes are from the Trevor Project, the American Psychological Association, and the Hogg Foundation which are part of the worldwide medical consensus.

1. When one parent fully affirms and accepts their LBGTQIA+ child, the suicide rate drops by 40%.
2. I am not a top expert in the field, but I will quote myself and Freedhearts from one of my articles based on months of research–When we look at the consequences of rejecting the neurodiverse and LBGTQ children in the family, church, and society, we find depression, anxiety, self-hatred, shame, self-harm, substance abuse, separation from God, the church, community, isolation, anger, serious mental illness, and even suicide.

3. But when we teach that God, the Church, the family, and the community loves and accepts neurodiverse and LBGTQ+ people unconditionally, the fruit is health, healing, love, joy, peace, self-acceptance, stable relationships, reconciling with God and the Church, family unity, and wholeness.

4. Fully accepting and including transgender/gender dysphoric children would be no different than fully including and accepting children with disabilities and/or neurodiversity like Autism. And again, sexual ethics, Church teaching/Catholic teaching do not have to be discarded, but the application of them in the Church must be changed because the sanctity of life, human dignity, and the spiritual and psychological health are at stake. Being LGBTQ+ is not a disability, but it is part of being on a spectrum intrinsic to being human. Unless you are capable of life-long celibacy for yourself, you are not qualified to expect this from someone else. Someone’s sexuality is between them, God, their loved one/parents, and no one else.