Life: The meaning of ..

It’s not often one discovers the meaning of life, but it’s even rarer that one understands it and holds on to that discovery. Rarer yet is that one can put it into words. This afternoon, sitting on my front porch, watching neighbors ride by in pairs on bicycles and overhearing a nearby barbeque, I wondered if I weren’t missing out on the most important things in life, namely those rich relationships with dozens of acquaintances that I imagine most people my age enjoy.

I am an introvert, you see. My greatest joys and accomplishments in life have mostly been solo experiences. I spend 90% of my time in the company of only myself; on the phone I speak for more than two minutes with only three people: my mother, my sister, and my girlfriend.

Is there something wrong with all of this? Am I morally or otherwise deficient for preferring the company of raw wilderness, cool breezes and a book, or even my laptop to that of my contemporaries? Somehow recently I’ve come to understand that, no, there is nothing wrong with this, that this is who I am and how I’ve come to where I’m at. I like myself, and I like where I stand in life.

That returns me to the front porch, and my discovery of the meaning of life. Simply put, it is “Connectedness,” or the realization that we’re never truly alone or separate from the whole of existence. For many this means connecting with friends, often, and developing lasting friendships. But there are countless other ways to realize our connectedness. Those who care for the elderly connect with our past, and with their own eventual futures; those working with children connect with our future, their own pasts. Many will work in social services, connecting with society: the poor, the abused, the underrepresented. Some may seek connections in the economy or politics: Wall Street, Washington, accounting, marketing, and so on. “Follow your bliss,” said Joseph Campbell, and I would add that we ought not chase it, but let our bliss arise as we instead seek deeper connectedness.

In my own case, the connections I could forge over beers at an afternoon barbeque are limited in comparison with my ambitious goal of a far broader connectedness. For, to truly understand philosophy and religion is, I believe, to connect with humanity in full. “In my end is my beginning,” Eliot wrote. For me, my end and my beginning are those of humanity itself, far beyond the holiday barbeque, the capitalist rat race, or even the beautiful Montana people and landscapes that have shaped me so much in life.

So I sit, alone but connected, seeking to unravel the riddles of all humankind.