Life: grumblings of a grumpy academic/student

How did it come to this? Me: overworked, stressed, worn out, tired, etc. This after just one month of the semester and no break in sight (my winter break will be dominated by frenzied travel, paper writing, grading, and prep for teaching spring semester). My current schedule has me starting at about 6 or 7 am every day and finishing around 9pm (or 6ish a few times a week). Some people can handle that, but I’m fairly lazy by nature so this isn’t easy.

I certainly admire those who have energy to put in those long days – and I’ll work on it. I’ve picked up some multivitamins, I did my first sitting meditation in a long time tonight, and I made it to the gym. I’m hoping that these three, along with a continued healthy diet will give me the strength to carry on.

I’m enjoying what I do, for the most part. I wish I had more time to put into my teaching, which is already consuming 30+ hours/week with prep and ancillary duties. But feedback thus far has been positive, and I’ve felt confident in the classroom all along. Kant classes have been very difficult – this isn’t the fun Kant of the Foundations of the Metaphysics of Morals or the Critique or Practical Reason, or even “What Is Enlightenment.” No, this is the ugly Kant of the Critique of Pure reason – where we study such things as Geometry and Logical Categories. I have the slightest suspicion that it will all turn out well – that this work is essential in some way, but for now I don’t have much of a ‘big picture’ view on things, so it is very difficult.

Epistemology is similar: what is ‘justified true belief?’ and how does it relate to ‘knowledge?’ And why should we care? It all seems to be a misguided quest for certainty in some fashion – but again, I’m hoping some light will go off in my head and it will all start to fit together soon.

Philosophy of Ecology is good, easier than the other two in terms of readings and philosophical complexity of issues. The prevailing issues seem to be caught up in dualisms of Nature v. Culture and Humanity v. Wildness v. Naturalness. All of it seems to lend itself to a good Buddhist reinterpretation, which is what I hope to embark on in the coming weeks (as time provides).

Finally is my work at the Center for Ethics, which is going great. I only have about 5 hours a week to spend there, but it is a wonderful work environment and the director keeps talking about getting me on board for bigger and longer-lasting projects.

So I can’t say that I dislike anything that I’m doing, even the extracurricular stuff – Philosophy Society, Golden Key International Honours Society, the occasional Philosophy Forum and lecture. But I can say that I wish there were two of me, or that I had the ability to do it all with just 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night. Multivitamins, meditation, and exercise: perhaps they’re all I need.