Good Days

Sometimes good days don’t start out so good. Today I awoke with a deeply aching heart, feeling the distance between myself and the woman I love, feeling the uncertainty of what the future would bring. I grumbled a lot.

Then I finally informed American University that I would have to turn down their generous offer of a possition as an adjunct professor for the fall. It was just one class, so it wouldn’t have paid the bills, but it still hurt to turn it down.

Thirdly, I had to do some internet searching for a new apartment in Missoula. For much of my life I simply had places given to me by some random route or another. The first time I actively searched for an apartment of my own was when I was 26. Nothing on the web looked good…

So much of the morning felt like reminders of how derailed my life has become.

But in fact it’s not derailed. It just kind of switched tracks. Not exactly what I wanted, or even particularly want now, but someone wise once told me: “you don’t always get what you want.” What you get is more to work with.

So I got in the car and drove from Helena to Missoula. Driving sooths me, brings me ‘home’ in a meditative way, it clears my mind. I didn’t quite resolve all of the world’s problems en route, but I did manage to arive in Missoula feeling refreshed and optimistic.

Upon arival, I met with my old and new boss, Dane, at the Center for Ethics, along with the woman I am replacing there to go over the job. I will basically be an accountant-lite, which I’m sure will please some of my readers who have often suggested I go into accounting. But I will also work with philosophers and activists, politicians and religious leaders, and more to push forward the discussion of ethics on our campus and in our community. It seems like a mix of drudgery (pushing around numbers) and fun (projects and people), but most of all it is a return home to Missoula, to the building nestled up against Mount Sentinel on the beautiful campus of The University of Montana.

Now I’m headed up to the lake with friends to immerse myself in nature, good conversation, and maybe a beer or two. I think it is going to be a good day.