Sunshine Vignettes

What a weekend!

It all began innocently enough, sitting in the Friday evening sun on the porch watching a doe and fawn nibble next door. Apparently these lovely ladies can be mighty vicious this time of year, but mostly they just go after dogs.
Then my friends Jen and Patia (pictured below) showed up to help me celebrate my birthday. They brought me some awesome gifts, a Bodhi tree bookmark by Jen and a Mantastic sticker from Patia and then took me out for dinner and a “couple” drinks (don’t ask, don’t tell).

Along the way we stumbled (not literally, of course) across a new Irish coffee shop and store where a group of musicians had made a circle. The music, so heart-filled and earnest, with driving, heal-stomping beats and smiling fiddle took me away…
After a few hours of sleep, some aspirin and coffee we were out again, this time seeking hidden treasure in Missoula’s garage sales. Jen got some great stuff and I found a heated massage pad at a bargain price, so I was plenty happy – plus this great sign (my brother’s name is Brandon).

After some more laziness (skipping the farmer’s market), I managed to get out for a hike and coffee with Larry, a retired gentleman, a former student, and current spiritual mentor of sorts. After discussing various things and my telling him of the silence of the week he told me a very interesting story. When he was younger, and a bit of a delinquent, he and some fellow trouble-kids were given a tour of our state prison (as if to say, “wise up soon, or…”).

He said the most striking thing he remembers from that tour was coming across an older guy, he must have been around 60. The man’s sentence had been up for some time, but he had chosen not to leave the prison. He was given some special privileges and some work and allowed to stay.

“Wow,” I thought. We went on to discuss some other cases of people in bad situations who just need to leave, but for whatever reason, they don’t. There is a psychological condition known as learned helplessness that comes to mind, where a person slowly loses a sense of control in his/her life and slips into depression or alcoholism, workaholism, etc. We talked about abusive relationships (romantic and otherwise) and institutions (such as prisons and many of our Native American reservations) and continued to probe at the question: why does person a step out of that situation while person b stays? And then what do you do when you see someone stuck in one of these situations? Pat them on the back and say “it’s ok, hang in there” or yank ’em by the collar and say “get out of there, now”? I suppose there are no easy answers here.
Sunday I got to the gym for bit and then off on a long (for me at least) hike with Jen and her four kids. Some people have good kids, and then some people have amazing kids – Jen definitely fits in the latter category. They are just plain fun to be around, constant teachers of mindfulness and being totally in the moment – “Justin, guess what!” or “Ohhh… look at THAT!” It makes me a bit envious, not only for her great kids, but for her energy (I’m convinced that women’s genes must change when they have kids to give them soooo much energy). After about two hours I was pooped, and the kids were beginning to tucker out too, but Jen just kept us trucking along.
Good times. Life IS good.

Sunday afternoon the clouds even parted for the whole evening. I read in the grass and sunshine, taking in the scents and sounds (bees, nearby house-work, distant lawn mowers) that reminded me of my childhood, my carefree years, my days of simple joys and open vistas. Hmm…. Soaking it up. Then dinner with my new housemates and an evening hike up Mount Sentinel for the birds and the deer and another Missoula sunset.